Page 80 of Jam and Jingle Bells
He thrust upward, picking a rhythm that pulled ragged moans from his lips until he freed himself carefully and brought my face to his. His tongue tangled with mine again, both of us hungry and desperate to complete each other.
"Trust me?" he whisper-asked, the mood in the room changing from passionate to reverent.
"I do," I promised, watching his lithe body move upward until he was situated against the headboard.
I crawled toward him, his hardness between my lips again before he could blink. His thighs quivered with the willpower it took to hold back and not give in to the feelings coursing through him. He growled, grabbed me, and lifted me over his lap, his fingers straying to my center. His hips thrust instinctively when he felt how ready I was for him.
"Addie,” he said on a sigh as I lowered myself over his lap, but it quickly turned to a moan of heightened pleasure neither of us expected. I buried him deep and leaned forward, our gazes locked in love and trust. His lips found mine and our emotions took over, showing each other what it meant to love someone completely and without judgment.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I rolled over slowly and stretched, my bare breasts making it obvious how cool the room was. I opened my eyes and the first thing I noticed was the sun streaming through the window. It was late on Sunday morning, but considering we’d made love until nearly six, I wasn’t surprised. The second thing I noticed was him. He was at the end of the bed, sitting in the pose he called the Sukhasana. He wasn’t meditating though. His gaze took me in, from my hair to my bare toes and everything in between. In the light of day, I was self-conscious, pulling the blanket up higher. I was hiding in the light the things I never worried about in the dark. The giant globes on my chest that swayed when I moved. My generous waist that led to thick hips and thighs. A bottom that had seen its share of pie from the Nightingale Diner. It was all there in black and white, quite literally. I was a mashup of ethnicity that made for what I considered an odd and often difficult to deal with body shape. Yet, that wasn’t what I saw in his eyes.
His fingers pulled the covers off me slowly, the feeling of the sheet erotic against my chilled skin. “Don’t hide from me, Addie,” he said, his voice calm as he stared at me, completely open to his gaze. It was then that I realized, he wasn’t dressed either. The longer he stared, the more obvious his need for me was.
“I’m not.” My arm came across my chest to cover my dark, protruding nipples while I said it.
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, his voice still controlled even if his desire was obvious resting against his washboard stomach.
“I’m cold,” I answered, determined not to cover my triangle with my other hand. His gaze was intense and probing, as though he was memorizing every last inch of my skin. Every blemish, every color variance, everything.
Like a snake, he slithered from his position and slid into the bed, pulling the covers over both of us while his lips teased my nipple with his warm breath. “Let me warm you up,” he hissed, his slithering continuing down my chest to my stomach, the covers over his head. He worked his way south to the triangle I was ashamed of just minutes ago.
I writhed under him, his lips doing things to me I didn’t know existed in this world. Lost in the sensation of being loved that purely and with complete dedication, I barely registered when he pulled me to him and entered me. Our hearts took over and his thrusts matched mine with a gentleness that wasn’t there a few hours ago. This was making love to each other’s hearts as we flew into the heavens together. We held each other, his head pressed into my chest as he gasped for air, and a shudder going through him head to toe.
“Good God, baby,” he whispered, lifting his gaze to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re just … I can’t … I don’t …”
I laughed softly and grasped his chin, kissing him slowly and with tongue. “Any more contractions you’d like to use?”
He shook his head, the look in his eyes pure bliss. Sated. Happy. I gasped and he tilted his head to look me in the eye. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I think your sadness flew away.”
His finger stroked my cheek along the jawline to my lips where I kissed it. “You’re right. I woke up an hour ago and it struck me right in the heart that my sadness had flown away. I sat on the end of the bed watching you sleep and it hit me that you were the only person on this earth who was made to carry that burden with me. You made the little elves fly away on Santa’s sleigh.”
I kissed him tenderly, his lips warm against mine. “Maybe that was just good sex talking?” I asked honestly.
He shook his head, his gaze never straying from mine. “No. If we had made love without me telling you what I told you last night, my sadness wouldn’t have flown away. It would still be here this morning and so would the guilt and the feeling that I had somehow disappointed you, just like I did with everyone else in my life. That’s not how I feel this morning. This morning I’m free. For the first time since I was sixteen, I’m free. My heart is whole again, save for a few leads running through it. It's wholly consumed with you and not because we had good sex. Let me be clear that it was actually mind-blowing sex, but I digress. It happened because we didn’t try to be someone we weren’t. You didn’t try to pretend your body was perfect any more than I could pretend mine was. You let me see the imperfections that make you perfect to me. I could sit and watch you sleep for hours. You’re mine and I have to fill my heart with your goodness to cleanse it. I understand that now.”
“I love you,” I whispered, kissing him for a heartbeat. “Even when I was mad at you yesterday, all I could ask myself was how I was going to walk away when my heart ached for you every minute we were apart.”
He shook his head, hushing me with his lips. “I love you too and I’m not walking away. Neither are you. We’ll have disagreements and we’ll fight and get mad, but I can promise you, this bed is always where we’ll work it out and then love each other through it. Okay?” he asked, stroking my forehead.
“Okay,” I whispered., huddling under the cover, a shiver running through me. “Just so you know, after what we shared last night, my sadness flew away too. At least my sadness about living life alone sequestered from anyone who might hurt me again. Please, don’t hurt me.”
He gathered me to him, his warm arms holding me with love and acceptance. He kissed my neck, his breathing ragged when he spoke. “No one will ever hurt you again, angel, including me. I hope you like me because I’m going nowhere.”
I laughed softly, his words releasing the tension in my body and I sagged against him. “I like you. I like you a lot,” I said in my best Jim Carrey voice.
He tickled my ribs, making me wiggle and squeal until he sat up and held my arms above my head. He kissed me once, but I could tell he was ready to spring out of bed rather than settle back in. “Now, no more seriousness for the day. It’s time to have some fun.”
He released my arms and stood, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. “Let’s shower and have something to eat, then we’re going out.”
I raised a brow and threw my legs over the bed. “Where are we going?” I grabbed my bathrobe from the floor where I’d dropped it last night.
“That’s a secret.”
“Already keeping secrets, are we?” I ran my hands up under his shirt seductively.
