Page 170 of Damaged Mogul
I respond with a non-committal shrug.
“No one has the right to put a timestamp on grief,” he says.
He should know.
“You’re allowed to take as long as you need to make amends with the bleak reality of losing a parent.” He glances over his shoulder before returning his attention to me. “The guilt you’ve been carrying would break your mom’s heart.”
I’ll go to my grave with the guilt.
“I made a promise to my dad.” A lump forms in my throat. “I swore to him I’d always look after Mom.” Rhys has heard this story I can’t break free from before. “The red flags were there. Mom said she was happy. I didn’t want to be the selfish son who told her she wasn’t allowed to love again. I should’ve been like a dog on a bone. I bear the responsibility of her death on my shoulders.”
After losing my mom, it got to a point where diving to thebottom of a top-shelf bottle of liquor was my only salvation. Grief almost cracked me wide open. Same for survivor guilt.
During that dark time in my life, I wasn’t as close to Rhys as I am now, but that didn’t stop him from being there for me when I needed it most.
I didn’t slide into full-blown alcoholism. I suffered from alcohol-related bereavement. Hours of therapy confirmed that.
Work helped me to move on, even though I knew I’d never be fully absolved of the role I played in my mother’s death.
“Aren’t you tired of holding up all those walls?” Rhys lets out an audible sigh. “It’s been three years, Gage…”
“I know it’s been three years.”I’ve been trapped in hell for that long.
“Let go of the guilt before it kills you.”
Chapter 31
Gage
This morning’s publicity win caused a ripple effect. Not that I was planning on an extended lunch, but right after Rhys dispensed his words of wisdom, my executive assistant texted to let me know the media was camping in front of our offices, requesting more from Matthew.
By the time I returned to HQ, our security guards and the publicist had everything under control.
One less headache.
I was planning on calling Lily earlier, but I had to take care of an avalanche of congratulatory phone calls. To my surprise, Fisher texted me. I kept my reply brief.
Despite the fact Lily doesn’t get along with her father, responding to a man a few hours before you’re about to corrupt his only daughter is unholy.
After a pitstop in the kitchen to shoot my veins with an afternoon double shot café macchiato, I stroll back to my office. I post myself in front of the floor-to-ceiling window and make a call that’s long overdue.
“Gage, how are you?”
Damn, I’ve missed her melodic voice.
“Hey, angel. How are you?”
“I’m good, but not as good as you. I’m so glad that horrible ordeal is behind you.”
I’m surprised by her comment. Other than to give her a bit of background on me, I’ve never talked shop with her.
“You saw the news?”
“No. I had lunch with Michaela. She told me all about it. When I returned to my suite, I searched for the full story. Blanche Hyman is a nasty human being.”
“She is.”
“I feel sorry for her daughter.”
