Page 66 of Vow of Revenge
“I know I’m no good for her, I never wanted to settle down.” I’ve always been too messed up to give Freya a future. Uncle Sean was right. I needed to walk away from her, before she gets attached to something that isn’t possible.
I hated myself for putting Sean first.
I hated myself for letting her into my heart.
I hated myself for what I was about to do next.
“Fine.” My forefinger stabbed the air. “But you owe me a fucking explanation. I want the truth, Sean.”
“Yes, Kaleb. I’ll get everything in order, and then I’ll tell you everything I know.”
I barely heard his reply. The world was cracking into pieces, fragments landing in my wake as I strode towards the portico, burning a trail of anger in my path.
Shoving open the doors, I dove into the icy cold air, breathing deeply. It felt like I was cutting off a limb, a brutal extraction with no morphine to dull the pain. How could I leave without saying goodbye?
“Kaleb! We’re going shooting. Are you coming?” she called to me, trotting up behind on the gravel.
I kept walking, doing my utmost to focus on a silent emotionless exit. “Kaleb. Wait. Where are you going?” Her hand wrapped my wrist, tugging me firmly.
Jumping in front of me, she positioned herself between my car and my edgy aura. “Kaleb?” Her brows pulled together.
“It was never going to work, Freya. I didn’t want anything more than a fun fuck. I’m heading back down to Dublin now.”
Her cheeks flushed, straining to hold back a storm. “I don’t believe you. Why are you saying that?”
“Don’t kid yourself, little mouse, I’m not capable of commitment.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have personalised the game.” I swallowed back all the words I wanted to say and replaced them with words that struck her heart with blades.
Her lip quivered, bursting my soul into flames. “Please, don’t do this.” She reached out for my hand, and I flinched.
“Go shoot something, it will make you feel better.” I ripped her delicate fingers from my arm and let them fall. The loss of her touch instantly made me doubt my cruelty. The thought of never having her as mine was a crushing reality. It had to be this way.
“You don’t mean this. You asked me to help you find a way. I’m standing here, right now, begging you to stop, pleading with you to be honest with me.” Her voice splintered and her eyes glittered with tears.
Stepping aside, I marched past her. “I know what I said. It was bullshit, Freya. I’m being honest with you right now. You once asked me if I was going to hurt you. I told you straight out, if you let me. You let me hurt you, Freya. This is on you.”
I opened the car door, trying with every cell in my body not to look at her beautiful face. I couldn’t watch her fall apart because my own world had just crashed around me. Freya was the only beacon of light in my darkness, the only one to pull me from the rubble of my own ruin, but fate, or history or whatever fucked-up reason wouldn’t allow me to latch onto her light.
I didn’t deserve her safety. I had to let go because the past was catching up with me like a rip tide, pulling my sanity at a rapid rate of knots.
It was over.
I’d been back at my apartment for a few miserable days since leaving Hanley Hall. I buried my broken heart under the massive mound already left by my mother. I wouldn’t let my shit life taint Syrah’s weekend of coupled bliss, although on the drive home Brett was unusually quiet. I hoped and prayed he wasn’t changing his mind about her.
“I’m heading out now. I’m meeting Dad for dinner to discuss my future with Brett.” Syrah inhaled slowly, letting the breath escape through pouted lips. “Wish me luck. He had me married off to Danny.”
“He’ll be cool about it. Brett’s a great guy and such a handsome catch.” I rolled over on my bed to face the ceiling.
She crossed the room to my bed. “What really happened between you two?”
“Everything and nothing. He was just reeling me in to let me go.”
“I spoke to Brett about it, but he didn’t say much. He did say that he’s never seen Kaleb chase after a woman before.”
“He hardly chased me.”
