Page 84 of Vow of Revenge
She didn’t want me.
This was my penance for every scorned woman, for every heart I manipulated.
Freya Harte Beaumont ruined me.
How could a man with vengeance in his heart, whisper pain and torment with every breath? Suffering danced behind his eyes, shattering my brittle heart with shards of his regret. Why didn’t it feel like he was enjoying the victory?
It took every last scrap of courage and strength to return to Hanley Hall. Calvin gave me the funds to buy the car as the highest bidder, no price cap. He knew what it meant to me. I just couldn’t grasp why Kaleb wanted to keep it.
Why did my betraying heart still beat to the rhythm of his? My body longed to run into his arms and stay there for eternity.
It was time to move on with my life, without my sister and without Kaleb.
Living in the hotel had become tiresome. I trawled the internet for properties to rent and job vacancies, but nothing transpired.
Calvin arranged for a counsellor to meet with me every week, and today my appointment was scheduled for 1:30 p.m. outside Belfast in an old hospital.
Dr. Frank was a jovial man who listened tentatively to my ramblings. “This man seems to be the centre of your world right now. He enters into every session.” He looked up from his iPad, stretching his fluffy brows towards his receding hairline.
“Yes, his father murdered my mother. Did I tell you that?”
“Yes, Freya you’ve told me that a number of times now.”
“Right. So it would be impossible for a man like him to have any sort of meaningful relationship with me, after all, she slit the man’s throat,” I stated, knowing the answer was no way, never.
His eyes locked with mine as I scratched my head. “Freya. We are talking about two separate couples. One from the past and one in the present. Neither of you are your parents.”
“I know that. But it doesn’t stop him from trying to get revenge, to use me and abuse me.”
“Did he abuse you?”
I paused. “No.”
“What has he done that warrants this accusation?” His shoulders met his jaw.
“My father told me Kaleb saw it happen. He watched my mother slit the guys throat – in defence, let me add. It’s pretty obvious he’d want revenge. He has a track record of fucking women over and leaving them broken.”
“Is this an assumption? Not fact?”
I shifted in my seat, yanking the cuffs of my hoody over my hands.
“Did he leave you broken, Freya?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Or did you leave him?”
I paused, considering his viewpoint.I left him. “He’s reached out to me over and over. He wants to talk.”
He set his iPad on his lap. “Why won’t you hear him out?”
“But what if he…”
Dr. Frank interrupted. “What if the sun falls out of the sky, Freya? What if my heart packs in right now? What if the wheels fall off the number fourteen bus? ‘What if’s’ are imaginary, not reality. They are purely guesstimating an unknown future. ‘If’ is such a small word, shadowed with so much doubt, or even hope.”
“He could break my heart,” I whispered, tapping my foot on the tiled floor.
Dr. Frank removed his frameless glasses. “And could you feel any worse than you do now, hiding away in your hotel suite, alone? Is your heart not already broken?”
