Page 90 of Vow of Revenge
He stood back. “I’ll leave when you can tell me to my face that you don’t want me. When you can admit that you don’t think about me every second of the day.” His fingers locked on my jaw, angling my gaze to his. “Look me in the eyes and tell me, Freya,” he demanded. “Put an end to this once and for all. I’ve told you the facts, every fucking last thing that I remember. I’m frozen in time, with Ana on my mind, and you in my heart. I can’t do this on my own. Help me, Freya. Save me from myself, from this fucking pain in my heart.”
“You know I can’t deny it.” The sobs stuck in my throat. “I can’t stop thinking about you, even though I know you’re only using me to get payback. I feel so fucking numb right now.” I squirmed in his firm hold. “She was my mother.” I sobbed. “I don’t know how to deal with the insanity in my head. I’ve tried to get over you, Kaleb, but these wounds are too real. You’ve just told me that you killed your own father.”
“This all is new to me too, Freya. I’ve blocked it out for years.” His grip hollowed my cheeks. “I was trying to stop him. He was going to kill her.”
“He did kill her, Kaleb. He murdered her.” The truth scorched my tongue. “But you tried to save her. You avenged my mother at the cost of your own life.” Kaleb brought his forehead down to mine and his fingers fell away. “I understand what you did and why you did it. I don’t want to lose you like I lost them.” My fists slammed into his hard torso with frustration. “My mother left me. Syrah left me. How do I know that you’re not lying to me now, that this is just some messed up pantomime? How can I trust that you won’t leave me too?”
The warmth of his breath caressed my tears. “I had no idea who you were, Freya, but something inside you called out to me.” I felt the sorrow whisper from his soul. “I killed my own father for Ana. My tears that day were for her, for what my own flesh and blood had done to her. She showed me nothing but kindness and love.” His soft lips pressed to the tip of my nose. “I began to remember things after we met. It’s crazy to think that she told me about you. Ana told me about her beautiful daughter.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore,” I whimpered. He was the young boy who my mother told me about all those years ago. The same boy who made her smile when she wasn’t with me.
“Stay here.” He pulled away and immediately my body turned to ice with the loss of his touch.
Kaleb jogged outside to the car, returning seconds later with a rectangular object housed in clear plastic, held close to his chest. The door clicked shut. His fingers clamped tightly around the item and he paused. The after a short second, he carefully pulled out a tatty notebook with ancient looking pages. “You need to read this, but I’m warning you, it’s hard to stomach. Before you read it all, I need you to read the last entry.”
“What is it?”
“Ana’s… your mother’s diary, when she was with him… and me.”
He opened the little book with a delicate touch like the pages would disintegrate if he breathed on them. Turning to the last page scrawled in ink, his eyes glazed cherishing the words that lay before him.
The pulse in my head thrummed. My fingers twitched to feel something of my mother’s. He presented the book to me. My hands shook as it came into my possession. Her pretty handwriting was rushed, scribbled across the page.
Kaleb,
I am eternally in your debt for your act of love and courage - but I deeply regret your sacrifice. My heart breaks for you.
I saw what you did for me. Tell everyone that I did it. Don’t let them know it was you. I beg you. Let me protect you and keep this secret as ours. You have your whole life to live. Please don’t ever lose yourself to his darkness. Your father was an evil man. But you’re the most amazing, kind-hearted and loving boy. Your company saved me, Kaleb. I’ve loved every minute of our time together. I wanted to take you with me, to try and be the mother you never had. You could’ve met my daughter, Freya.
But now you have to move on with strength in your heart.
You and my Freya are tethered to each other by my love for each of you.
I ask one last request – find her, make sure she is safe, loved and happy. Tell her that it was her limitless love for me, and yours, that kept my will to survive strong.
Look after yourself, and each other.
Always,
Ana Harte
Iwas humbled by the dying words of, Ana Harte. She cared for me with an effortless relationship, bonded in the jaws of hell. The woman was brought into my life under punishing circumstances, yet she selflessly hid her suffering and filled my life with love. Little did she know, in the span of time we spent together, she became the most valued, loved and important person in my life. My only regret was not telling her how much she meant to me. I wanted to apologise to her for forgetting the trauma – for forgetting her. Every single written word cut out my heart, splayed it on the table and disintegrated every section of hatred for women.
Finding Freya was an accidental blessing, a cosmic collision created by the love of a woman who cherished us both. I don’t believe in mumbo jumbo nonsense, but I believe the stars aligned the second her breath left her suffering body, setting the course of my life towards Freya’s.
Her dying wish was inscribed for all to see, I wanted to keep our secret safe, yet I needed to inform those involved, to tell them the facts. I wanted to clear her name of murder and let her tortured soul rest as a victim.
Freya had shut me out, she was under the illusion that I played her heart strings to meet my own vengeful needs. In her case it couldn’t be farther from the truth.
“I took the diary to Calvin and asked him to read her finals words. He knows the truth about how I found the diary in Hanley after the memories began to haunt me,” I announced, breaking the sombre silence.
Calvin had been reduced to tears, a blend of pent up sorrow for his dead daughter and the dead mother of his living daughter. The man of strength who appeared unbreakable, wept for the truth.
“We agreed to let sleeping dogs lie. I told him of my plan to use the money from the auction to set up a foundation for victims of abuse,” I continued, feeling lighter as the truth spilled out.
Freya’s jaw slackened, it was all too much for her to understand, I could see it on her pretty face, but the truth had to surface – if she was going to accept me.
“We discussed its merits, and he offered to become a partner. I agreed, with one condition – that I was the one to tell you the truth, face to face.”
