Page 32 of Vow to Protect
“I’ll organise a pizza after I leave. I’ve left you the basics for the morning in the sitting room.” I fumble with the leather, doing my best to focus on the task and not catch her eyes.
The buzz running through me is a steady electric current, humming and volatile if cranked up one more notch. Without thought, I yank the bedsheet. “I’m sure you’re cold. Cover up.” Before I fuck you.
The loop from the knot slackens, and I step back, barely ignoring her nakedness as she sits up. My clothes tighten around me. The air smells like betrayal and desire. An angry blood vessel pulsates in my neck with disappointment.
“What are you sorry for?” Raen follows me into the sitting room.
I glance back at her, wired and antsy, flighty and frayed. “Forget about it.”
“Brett? Areyouokay?” she asks. I don’t want her concern. I need to beat the shit out of someone and endure their defensive jabs in retaliation. A hand rests on my arm, and I frost over, my heart suspended.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I bark, shrinking under the light contact.
“You seem like you could use a hug.”
I force a cold-hearted laugh and shirk her hand away. “What I did in there was wrong on so many levels. Stop fucking torturing me, Raen. You’re not allowed to touch me.”
“Double standards?” Her brows knit tighter.
“No.”
“You can lick me into a frenzy, but I can't offer you a hug?”
“I don’t need a fucking hug.” I inch back. “You wanted my dick. You wanted me to fuck you—I drew the line. End of.”
And there it is. A tempestuous temper, unleashing a sting to my flesh, sharp and jarring. The answer to control my tailspin. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” She clenches her fist and hugs the offending hand close to her chest. “I don’t understand why you’re being so mean to me. I saw the look in your eyes. You wanted it too. I’m not asking for forever, I’m not even asking for tomorrow. I only wanted one night to feel normal and to forget this fucked up situation. To pretend I’m not scarred by a madman who could knock on that door any second.”
My flesh smarts with glorious violence. The lust overpowered by a blistering burn. I’m alive again, beyond reproach. A man with needs who didn’t fuck away his honour. She’s purely a woman who served as a distraction.
“You wanted light entertainment. Well, I think you got it.” I pat my dog on his head when his ears pin back. “Am I right?”
Raen’s back straightens. The curve of her neck lengthens. In that moment, she’s bewitching. A white sheet drapes her elegant shape like a proud Grecian princess. Dishevelled hair cascades over bare shoulders. But it’s the visible afterglow from her climax that reminds me how good she tasted, how fucking amazing it felt to seek pleasure without pain.
“That was a semi-distraction.” She scowls.
“You climaxed over my face,” I point out, clipping the leash into Champs collar. “Are we good here? Can I leave without pretending this was something more than nothing?”
“Goodnight.” She nods curtly. “I hope you let Tilly hug you. Normal people like to be touched, you know.”
She shouldn’t have said that. My composure erodes instantly. The suggestion of normal sets me adrift. I’m trying my best to give that girl the role model she deserves. Anormalfather amidst a shit storm called life. “What I do with my daughter is none of your concern.”
Her brows drift up. “I’m guessing you’re the best daddy in the world. I bet you even read her stories with happy endings, so she thinks the world is a good place to live in.” When her arms cross, the sheet lowers.
“I don’t want complications, Raen. Is that so hard to believe?” A lie detector test couldn’t tell the truth from my calm tone and frank manner.
Raen looks to the floor, with a fleeting glimpse of fragility. Her lips form a tight smile when she stares at Champ. “Goodnight, Brett. Thanks for the distraction.”
I want to stop her as she turns away. I want to delve my fingers into her messy lengths and bend her over the couch, to fuck her so hard that she loses control and falls apart on my dick. “I’ll leave the pizza on your doorstep and knock twice.” But this arrangement is temporary, and my heart doesn’t have room for a guest. “Goodnight.” I stalk to the door, unspoken words biting my tongue until they grow wings and take flight on their own. “This has nothing to do with your slight imperfection. You’re fucking beautiful.” As I bark out the compliment, my heart aches with a fickle twist.
Hot bathwater laps and cocoons agitated limbs. I’m submerged to my jawline. Hair floating like seaweed across the still surface. How long I’ve been in here for is inconsequential. It’s bliss. I’m alone. No one can threaten me, and no one can tempt me.
What a naïve idea to let Brett De Courcy get under my skin. I made sure every quirk and detail of my family’s faces was portrayed in the wall mural and I relived all the memories while doing so. Laughing at the silly times and weeping for the loss of each family member. It was so raw and real. So when he comforted me with masculine arms, strength and compassion, I felt safe. The chattering in my brain settled. Rigid muscles finally relaxed after weeks of torment, and my heart rested next to his.
I gave him permission to collect all the defected fragments of my lonely life in one swipe, and then I offered them to him. I handed them to a guy who can’t even bare my hands on his body.
There’s a curious charge in the air whenever he’s around. The way he looks at me isn’t ordinary. I get the impression Brett wishes he could let go of his demons or throttle me for making him consider freeing them.
Yet, the man hell bent on distance, gave me precisely what I craved in that moment and then ripped it all away with a narrowed scowl. He must think I’m so weak, so brash and needy. The fact is, he caught me off guard. My past and present collided, knocking me into reality—everyone I have ever loved is dead.
