Page 56 of Call Out
Even if Vivian wasn’t my girl, I’d still be better off alone than slipping into old habits. Zoe doesn't care about me. She’s too in love with booze and reckless behavior.
A round of drinks fills the small table. I scan the bustling room to see if Viv has arrived. My skin crawls at the thought of her walking in to find me having drinks with this woman. Zoe raises her glass, tipping it towards me, and then drains the clear liquid like its soda. As the glass hits the coaster, her head rotates, and she motions to the server for another.
Fuck! This is going to get messy, really quickly. I’ve been down this road before, and the street signs are flashing with danger. “Slow down, Zoe.”
“Why?” Her forehead wrinkles, and she pushes out her lips. “You know me, Danny. I always have a few drinks with dinner.”
“Is that all you’ve had?”
Her gaze drops as she repositions the cutlery. “You’ve found happiness. You’re giving up on us. I might have taken a little something to soften the blow. Don’t worry, I’ve already had the pills a hundred times before. As you’ve said countless times, you’re not responsible for me. I’m a grown woman who needed a chemical safety net.”
My fists curl under the table. Nothing is straightforward when Zoe Palmer is involved. “I don’t believe this, Zoe,” I grit out.
“It’s only a spare Diazepam from one of the clinics. They hand them out like candy. I get them for alcohol withdrawal, but I find they work great for chilling out.” She taps her mouth with her forefinger. “Or maybe it was Valium. I can’t remember. They all look the same. If you weren’t so dead set against it, I’d give you one.”
“You had to do this again, didn't you?” I growl, pinching the bridge of my nose.
Eyes dulled and doped stare at me. Another vodka lands on the table. Zoe swipes the glass and sinks the contents, latching on to the server’s arm at the same time. “I’d ask you to bring the bottle; however, this guy is all looks and no fun. Make the next one a double.”
I balk, giving her a sharp shake of my head. “Christ’s sake, Zoe. At least pace yourself.”
“Okay.” She blows me a kiss across the table. “I want to hear all about your little Swann.”
I sit back in my seat. “There’s nothing to tell,” I lie.
“Oh, I think there is everything to tell,” she coos. “She’s young, gorgeous and sweet. I never thought you’d settle for a plain Jane like her when you like...” Zoe’s foot crosses the floor beneath the table and nudges my shoe. The suggestion revolts me. My spine braces, and I slide my foot out of the way.
“Change the subject.”
“She works with old people, how interesting.” Zoe ignores my request, coughing into her fist and mocking Viv’s employment with raised brows. “What age is she, eighteen? I can’t imagine someone so young having the experience you demand in the bedroom. But that photo she sent you, well, that was a surprise.”
It only takes one comment for my defenses to turn ironclad. Metal plates rise, and I reign in my temper. “I knew you were snooping on my goddamn phone. She’s twenty-one. Experience is overrated.” I could add that Viv’s more mature without effort. But I’m guessing it wouldn’t go down well tonight.
Zoe has already admitted to stalking me. The nuisance calls started after she found out I’d left home. It wasn’t my parents who told her first. That whole pity party at their house was staged. It was a pathetic ploy to lure me back home, or away from Viv.
“If you want me to wait for your dinner to be served, then quit talking about Viv. She’s not up for discussion, and if I find out you’ve gone anywhere near her, I’ll get a fucking restraining order.”
“Danny,” she gasps, splaying her hand over her heart. “I’m only teasing you. Don’t be so harsh.”
I exhale a sigh. “How many pills did you take?”
“One, maybe two.”
“I’m fucking sick of this,” I hiss. I’m only sitting with her for one reason and one reason only. To clip the threads of her expectations. To offload her Danny dependency. The stiff muscles in my shoulders ache. I don’t have any energy left for this shit. “Tonight, is the last time we’ll see each other. Don’t visit my parents. Stay away from Viv. And delete my number. If you truly care about me, you’ll let me go. We can’t continue to drag the past around like a fucking dead weight. It’s exhausting. I’ll wait for Viv outside. Enjoy your dinner.”
Dull blue eyes cloud over. She glances down at her phone, distracted. The droopy corners of her mouth suddenly twitch to a slow smile. “You don’t have to wait outside for her. I’ll go. I’m sorry.” She hesitates as the server places a large bowl of garlicky pasta before her and follows up with a double vodka on the rocks.
“You should eat something.” I push back in my chair, preparing to stand.
Her hand darts across the table, latching onto my wrists like a viper. “Danny, I love you so much it hurts. I really thought we would end up together, like a pair of those aged cronies in the old peoples’ home. We’d sit side by side, holding hands, all the stronger for sticking together. Those other guys I dated; they just filled my time while I waited for you to really see me. You can’t deny we have a special bond. Nothing andno one, can or will change that. I’ll always live in your heart, Danny. And that’s the truth right there.”
Sickness rolls in the pit of my stomach. Perhaps she’ll hitchhike to a minuscule corner of my heart. I guess squatters have rights. All I feel is pitiful remorse or professional emotions associated with being a paramedic tending to an injured patient. I’m pulling the plug. Forever. For my mental stability and for my relationship with Vivian.
“Zoe, all that's between us is duty and guilt. We’re not destined to be together. We danced around the idea of a relationship years ago. It didn’t work then, and it’ll never work now.” As I lay my cards of honesty down one by one, she matches each with a swig of liquor.
“Because of her.” Tears glaze her eyes.
“Not because of her,” I point out. “Because you and I don’t work. I’m not in love with you.”
