Page 34 of Fall
Mulling it over, I conclude the likelihood of weathering the storm of suffering in the jungle as a loner in isolation with only my computers for company in the evenings. I’ll probably not cut my hair, and over time, the scruff will turn to a beard. And every night I’ll look up at the stars and think of my sister, staring at the same back velvet sky that Iris lives under on the opposite side of the globe. At least I’ll be content they’re both safe. Gabriela in Heaven and Iris in the arms of her family.
Since I’ve made the jungle my home, my men and I have replaced thousands of trees stripped by eco-terrorists. Our aim is to regenerate and prevent deforestation by patching up the unforgivable wounds blighting the woodland. We give back more than we take. I couldn’t leave now, even if I wanted to. The rainforest needs me, and I need its privacy.
“I don’t expect you to understand the sacrifice, beija flor. However, I respect you enough to put you on a chopper. Maybe one day you’ll find your way back.”
Her eyebrows tug together, and her hand rests on her stomach. “Would you welcome me back?”
I’m filthy, with slashes of blood and speckles of dirt covering my chest. I look down at the pitiful cub, assessing the state of us both. If I tell the truth, it will hurt her even more. If I tell her a lie, then I’m a fucking hypocrite. I look her straight in the eye. “I’d ask you to stay with me forever.” Iris gulps, and her hands drop by her sides. “But the facts are,” I continue quickly, “I have questions that need answered, and I’ll get them one way or another. Whether I’ll be the same man after I’ve finished, that's up for debate. You don’t deserve a man like that.”
She scoots around the bed and grabs my wrists, lifting to her toes to search my eyes. “You don’t have the right to tell me what I do or don’t deserve.”
“Goddamn it, beija flor.” I shirk out of her grip and seize her nape, tipping her head to bring her mouth closer. She glares up at me, preparing for whatever I unleash. Except, all I can think about is kissing her. I have no more words. No anger to offload. The reasons to send her away are depleting hour by hour. I find myself shaking my head, battling willpower.
“Dante,” she whispers my name, and I almost buckle.
I stare into her eyes and see everything I could ever want staring back at me. She means more to me than money, the Oasis, hatred and isolation.
Faint footsteps grow louder, the sound infiltrating my thoughts. I want to ignore it and confess how I’m rotten inside and she’s the only cure. The privacy I’m used to having abruptly ends. Iris looks past me, and I peer over my left as Jackson slams both of his hands to either side of his temples.
“What the hell is going on? Christ’s sake, you’ve contaminated my workspace.” He edges further into the room, studying the heap of bandaged fur and dirty gauze strewn from one end of the operating table to the other. “Holy shit. We treat humans in here, not sick animals. What is it with you and strays?”
Iris lowers her face, forcing me to reluctantly let go. “Jackson,” I reply on a growl.
“Let me…” She pivots away, slides the cub into her belly, and lifts him like a baby. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.” She actually apologizes to him. “I’ll take him outside.”
Sniper sharp reflexes snare her elbow. “No, you won’t. I own this facility, and him.” I shoot a glare at my friend and then find her worried eyes again. “Never apologize for doing the right thing. He’s a cranky old fucker who should know better than to interrupt me.” He’s well aware of my craziness, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. “The room needs a deep clean anyway and possibly a remodel. Whatever you need to make improvements, I’ll sign off on it, Jackson.”
He shakes his head from side to side and sighs. “Do you need me to look at him?”
“Iris fixed him up. He’ll live another day because of her.” A swell of pride hits me in the chest.
She smiles faintly and keeps her eyes to the sleeping jaguar in her arms. “He was on the wrong side of the boundary.” I study her as she speaks. “Once he's made a full recovery, he’ll be back with his family.” A ferocious streak of instinct cradles the cub tight to her chest.
It doesn't matter that she’s covered in flecks of blood, that her tangled curls are tipped with a humid frizz or that her pearly skin glows with a new sun-kissed radiance. She lives and breathes survival. Not only for herself, but for the tiny wild cat she saved from dying.
Determination halo's a proud posture. It’s ballooned in strength and fortitude since I first set eyes on her. Being a prisoner hasn’t sedated her luster, it’s varnished her with luminosity and given her wings. Not that I take credit for the metamorphosis. That’s all her––and I'm in awe. Profoundly fascinated and moved by her show of resilience.
“Your jaw has healed perfectly.” Jackson strolls to the stocked cabinet and gathers a fresh pair of gloves. “May I?” He idles into her space with debonair grace and refined poise.
Iris flicks her curious gaze to my silent assessment. He’s my only trusted friend, aside from Sal. Both on my payroll and both indebted to me. Even still, I regard him as a close confidant, which is why it’s unusual for me to feel unsettled when he reaches for her face.
Jackson is well educated, with an insatiable charm and aristocratic countenance. He’s never endured poverty or struggled to pay the rent. Even if his old life no longer exists, those qualities make him a better prospect for Iris. Better than I could ever be.
I beat down the thunderous jealousy threatening to explode inside of me and bring my curled hand to my mouth, discreetly hiding my grimace.
Jackson inspects her face as any medical professional would, stretching her cheek with latex fingertips. Uncertain brown eyes hunt out mine. It terrifies me how my emotions are cracking. How these feelings I’ve never known before are mutating from a rainstorm of distrust to a tsunami of necessity.
“It’s remarkable.” Jackson backs away. “The scar is barely visible. I can show you how it looks if you like?” He pulls out a drawer and extracts a golden handheld mirror. The only one in my Oasis. Saved for the big reveal at the end of each stay. My stomach heaves, aware of the fitting gesture. How it’s marking the finality of her journey and introducing her to my courageous beija flor.
Her lower lip wobbles, causing me to brace every muscle for strength. “I… I don’t know… it’s been so long since...” she stammers, swallowing in a rush.
Jackson lowers the burnished surface. “What are you afraid of?” he asks.
Instinctively, I understand where her fear originates. She’s afraid she won’t recognize the woman in the reflection. That she’ll either hate herself for surrendering to the man who incarcerated her, or weep for the innocent girl who died in the forest with her mentor.
Her lips draw in, and she stares over at me with conflicted, wide eyes. This isn’t the feisty woman I know. She’s become fragile, sadly missing the gutsy attitude I love so much. Yet this vulnerable side of her plucks at my heart even more. An overwhelming need to protect her pulls me closer.
When her eyes mist, I’m compelled by none other than utter compassion to move in and circle her waist, tugging her hip tight to my side. She fits next to me. Although dainty and small in stature, she’s the perfect shape and size to rival my authority.
