Page 35 of Fall
We are equal.
“Take a look at yourself, beija flor.”
Goosebumps shower my skin when she nods, obeying my last command. I breathe in deeply when Jackson lifts the mirror and teary eyes settle on her stunning reflection.
“You see? You’d never suspect you had an infected lesion there a few weeks ago. The tincture you made worked a miracle.” He grins at me, unaware of her rocky path. Blinded to the nights we fought each other to stay away and the nights we couldn’t pry ourselves apart. “I’ll use the new blend on the next client when you give me the exact recipe.”
I don’t meet his admiration. Instead, I study her silent observation and how she cuddles the damn cub for comfort––and not me.
“Excuse me.” She lowers her lashes and takes a tattered breath as if she’s about to cry. “Will you take care of Laoch while I go to the restroom?” I see the skirmish unfold behind her eyes when she looks up at me. The effort to keep herself in check isn’t missed. “Hold him from under his tummy.”
I want to drag her into me and tell her everything will be okay, but even I’m not sure it will. Her valor falters, and she blinks away the salty liquid sheen, afraid to crack like a hairline fracture weakened under pressure.
Then it happens. Before I gather the cub from her arms, my thumb and forefingers snare her clenched jaw. Instantly, her pupils expand at the contact, and she inhales in a gust. My dick thickens at her responsive reaction, conscious of the violent voltage surging to my nerve endings. “Are you okay?”
She sways into me, silently staring back. Lost in whatever thoughts are swirling in her mind. Her neck strains, and she tries to turn her head away. “I’m fine.”
The warm cub meets my abdomen. I draw him in, careful not to touch his bandages. Once she’s content I’m holding him properly, she does a one-eighty and leaves the room.
“Well… I…” Jackson scratches his head.
“Don’t say a word,” I bite out, rocking the cub back and forth as it grumbles.
He holds up his hands and feigns shock. “I was only going to congratulate you on the tincture. The concentration of ingredients worked well this time. You must have spent hours getting it right.”
“It’s a new combination I was testing for burns.”
Over the years, the local villagers who live in the depths of the rainforest have taught me the ways of natural living. They don’t need to rely on the modern world. Not when nature supplies medicine and shelter. From alternatives to clinically produced medications to healing tonics and immune system enhancers. There are thousands of medicinal plants growing in abundance, and their traditions utilize and create interesting remedies.
“Aside from your botany skills.” His lips curl to a half smile. “I think the main reason the scar healed without a trace is the care and attention you gave her. She’s lucky you devoted all your time to her during the fever. With that and the infection, it’s a wonder she survived. Does she know you were there every step of the way?”
I shrug. “That’s not important. She’s strong. I’m certain she would have recovered with or without me.”
“I’m not so certain.” He dishes out a serious scowl. “She was in a terrible state. You could have left her to die and saved yourself a lot of trouble, but I guess you saw something in her. Something you see in yourself, perhaps?”
“We’re nothing alike.” I laugh low in my throat. “She’s everything I’m not. Pure, loving, forgiving and filled with so much courage. It scares me what she’d be capable of if she was pushed.”
Jackson waggles his brows. “Exactly,” he replies with a mumble. “Anyway, do you want me to contact the pharmaceutical companies so they can mimic your new product?”
“No. That brings assholes in suits. Those leeches would strip out every plant without a regrowth plan.” The baby jaguar gripes. “Get me some of the cannabis oil. I’ll rub it on his gums before I check on…” I’m about to say Iris when Sal flings the door open.
My head snaps up.
“Sir,” he pants, holding the door handle for support. “We have a big fucking problem. Luiz is trying to reach you.”
12
When I finally met myself again in the mirror, I gazed upon a young woman with a profile I’ve known all my life. It was me. Iris Kitson. Beija flor. One in the same.
A clone in appearance swamped in frizzy curls with freckled cheekbones. Jackson was right when he said my scar was practically invisible. It was, just like the unseen cuts carved into my psyche.
The reflection projected a familiar face with precise features. What it didn’t show was the wreckage beneath the surface. How I tried to hide the turbulent emotions within me. The person I was before my trip to the rainforest wasn’t there anymore. My eyes hold secrets and desires more powerful than I’ve ever known. The woman I once was has grown in strength and cast a new net into an unknown landscape, which isn’t simply the jungle––it’s him. Dante Valez. He’s a complexity of his own, with a changeable microclimate to match his moods.
I have the same face, but I’m not Iris on the inside. Not the innocent girl from Scotland who never experienced the true sense of dark desire. I’m a reformed woman who can’t decide if it’s for the best. Although I’ve survived the worst and taken pleasure in a fantasy, I’m not sure how to revert back to my old life––or if I want to.
Glacial water blasts from the faucet, freezing my cheeks when I splash it over my face to shock me out of this inner melee. I collect a few balancing breaths and chant inwardly.I’m going home to my family where I’ll be safe and loved. I’ll see my little sister again and watch her grow. My parents will rejoice in my miraculous reincarnation. Everything will work out as it should.
I spend the next few minutes rolling out my shoulders and loosening the knots in my neck. Scrunching my fingers into my hair, I rake out the curls and think ofLaoch. The endangered jaguar I’ve rescued from an untimely death. I sigh lightly, happy with the small contribution I’ve made. Now he can father cubs of his own so the species will thrive. That alone is the one good deed I’ve accomplished when all my early research turned to shit.
