Page 44 of Fall
I rummage through the collection, settling on a sage green dress with a jumble of creamy buds. “I love this one. Let me try it on.”
“There’s a razor in there too. Unless you truly are blessed?” She winks. “Take your time. I’ll nurse Laoch and pretend he's my patient.” She kicks up her feet and tickles the downy fluff at his ear. I take a few steps towards the corridor behind the desk. “You should know he’s never allowed anyone in his treehouse. Not even me,” she adds, halting me. “He must really trust you, Iris. That’s kind of special… and really sad, if you ask me.”
My heart bucks. I unintentionally choke the clean fabric draping my hand. “Sad?” I turn to face her, swallowing the hard lump forming in my throat.
“Yeah.” She nods, running a hand through her hair. “I’ve known him for years, and the man has never put his full trust in anyone. Until you. Jackson hasn’t seen the inside of his place and they’re close friends. I wish the guy would allow himself to be happy. That he could let go of all that anger. I guess love doesn't conquer after all.” The hairs on my scalp prick. Her pretty face shadows.
“We aren’t in love.” I exhale, shaking my head.
She ignores my answer. “I wish we had met sooner. I think we could have been good friends.”
“Yeah,” I reply with a vague tone to match the numbness creeping inside my heart.
When she’s out of sight, I go through the motions and enter the washroom. This time the lighting has changed. Sunlight dapples the walls. Shadows darken the corners. Taking a deep breath, I remove the masculine styled shorts and toss them in the trash can. His soft T-shirt catches my hair, refusing to say goodbye. It’s cathartic to strip off the last piece of him, even though his seed is buried deep within me.
The feminine wrap-around dress is light and airy compared to the heavy cotton pants I’ve worn for weeks. A billowing hem ends mid-thigh. I pull the ties snugly at the waistline and showcase my hips. Without a reflection to assess my new look, I simply sigh at the transformation.
Hot water lathers up soap. I skim the razor over a light skiff of fair hairs along my shins. It’s odd how such a girly act makes me feel more like myself. It doesn’t take long to shed the layers of entrapment. I’m polished and primped on the outside and cloaked in a cloud of confusion within. I close my eyes and visualize jagged cliffs and choppy oceans. Salty sea air and bright green blades of grass.
Home.
I sway a little at the recollection and press a palm to my solar plexus. My breathing becomes purposeful. Emmie’s innocent eyes and toothy grin appear in my mind. I plug into the strength of our reunion and draw back my shoulders. I’m ready to hug my little sister.
Salvador runs the Oasis like clockwork as Dante’s respected second in command.
Jackson runs the medical facility and tends to the patients that Dante welcomes.
Even Carina has a place in his life.
Me—I’m merely a blip in his timeline.
Something he’s happy to forget.
I have no place here.
Slipping into the utility boots suited for navigating rough terrain, I shut the door on my flashbacks and rejoin Carina. She’s whispering in Portuguese to Laoch with a child-like voice.
When she hears my footsteps, her lashes flick up. “Wow. You're gorgeous, Iris. If he saw you now…” She shakes her head. I squint as the low setting sun blasts through a gap in the trees beyond the windows. “I wish you could stay longer. Why do you have to go so soon?”
“I’ve outstayed my welcome.” My shoulders bounce. “Anyway, my purpose in life is to study ecosystems and endangered species. I can’t do that without the appropriate equipment.”
I’ve put living on hold these past few weeks. Meeting Dante threw me a curveball. “I studied night and day, sacrificed my teenage years and a relationship with my ex-fiancé.” Now that I think about it. We weren’t matched. Not one bit. He enjoyed movies in a theatre where I loved sunsets overlooking the ocean. He burnt off energy in an indoor gym, and I preferred hiking through woodlands.
Carina tips forward with Laoch nestled close to her chest. “Dante is very secretive.” She stands. “Except for one thing—he tries to disguise his big heart. But you and I both know it’s hidden in that divine body of his. And now I’m worried I’ll never see his kindness again. Something didn’t feel right when we spoke earlier. He was cold—completely shut off.”
“From what I gather, he has important business to take care of. And I’m ready to travel back to Scotland. He has his priorities, and I have mine.” I don’t explain how my family has mentally buried and mourned me already.
“Carina.” Jackson strolls into the reception area wearing a pristine white lab coat. He slides a hand into his pocket. “What brings you back so soon, sweetheart?”
“El Fantasma asked me to bring Iris clothes for her journey tomorrow.” I take back Laoch and hold him like precious cargo.
Jackson gives me the once over and nods. “Very good.”
I turn slowly, feeling sorely out of place as they discuss the latest patient's operation.
“Can I take out the stitches?” she asks. “I need all the practice I can get.” I take two more steps to the exit. “Iris!” Carina calls out. “It was so nice to meet you. I hope our paths will cross in the future.”
“I hope so too,” I say over my shoulder, smiling at the two strangers.
