Page 61 of The Unbound Bookshop
He wavered, afraid to push her too hard too soon and ruin his chances at mending the rift.
But the thought of Sage walking down the hill alone, climbing into her car and heading home, thinking he’d betrayed her was too much for him to bear.
He started down the hill after her.
“You’re making a mistake,” his mother called after him. “You should let her go.”
Indignation fired in his chest, and he swung around. “How could you do that to me? You had no right. I told you I wasn’t accepting the promotion.”
“I’m your mother. I don’t want to see you throw your life away for some girl.”
“Sage isn’tsome girl. And it’s not my life, is it? It’s Kevin’s.” His fingers tensed, and he curled them into fists by his sides to steady his rising emotion. “That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? I’m a carbon copy of your favorite son, and you can’t bear the thought I might becomemeagain. The family embarrassment. The son who will never amount to anything.”
She flinched as if he’d struck her. “Sweetheart, no. Is that what you think?” The shock and dismay in her voice surprised him.
“I heard you, Mom. The day of Kevin’s funeral. ‘Please, God. Anyone but our Kevin.’ Be honest. You would rather Kev was the one standing here, not me.”
The words burned the back of his throat, but he felt a strange bittersweet relief finally forcing the truth out in the open.
“Oh, honey.” In the dim light of the circular drive, her glassy eyes glistened like dark pools of water. “I’m so sorry. I was grieving. I didn’t mean—” Her voice fell away, strangled by a raspy sob.
Flynn stared at her in stunned silence, shaken by the intensity of her reaction. She’d wept for Kevin, but he never imagined he could evoke the same level of feeling.
“I never wanted you to be your brother.” Tears slid down her cheeks like ice melting in the moonlight. “Maybe, sometimes, I wished you were a bit more like Kevin. But only because he was easier for me to understand. You and I, we’ve always been so different.”
Flynn couldn’t argue. He’d felt the disconnect even as a child. His mother could be controlling and exacting. There was one correct way to do something, and he rarely got it right. He’d even go as far to describe her as cold, although, as an adult, he’d learned to admire her strength and tenacity. Insomesituations, at least.
But tonight, in her severe black dress, her hair combed into a tight updo, she looked thinner than usual. Pale and fragile, as if her essence had fled through her fingertips, leaving only a shell.
There was only one other time he’d witnessed her impervious exterior crack.
When Kevin died.
“I’ve always been afraid to lose you,” she admitted softly. “To either the sea and your dream of sailing around the world, or to Sage, who understood you so much better than I ever did. Then, when we lost your brother, that fear consumed me. I would do anything in my power to keep from losing you, too.” She slumped forward, drained and defeated, as if she finally realized she’d been fighting a hopeless battle.
“Is that why you’ve always treated Sage so poorly?”
“Yes.” The syllable escaped in a strained whisper. She rubbed her eyes, smearing her mascara, although she didn’t appear to notice or care. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Despite how it may seem sometimes, I’m not proud of what I’ve done.”
As her words sank in, he struggled to accept them. He wanted to offer his mother compassion, but he couldn’t help a lingering resentment for all the times she’d lashed out at Sage. Sage, who’d never been anything but polite and respectful in return. “The person who deserves the apology is Sage.”
“I know.” She sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand—the most unladylike gesture he’d ever seen her do. “I’ll apologize for every unkind word I’ve ever said.”
“And for the bookstore.” Another spark of indignation flashed inside him. He still couldn’t believe she’d stooped so low. “Why’d you do it, Mom? We weren’t even dating anymore.”
She hesitated. Uncertainty swam in her tearful gaze as she chewed her bottom lip, ruining her expertly applied lipstick. After a tormenting pause, she released a resigned, remorseful breath, as if she knew her confession might push him even further away. “Because I knew how badly she wanted to open her own bookstore, and I thought if she couldn’t do it here, in Blessings Bay, because of the bylaw, then she might move and start a new life somewhere else. And I could finally let go of the fear that one day she’d take you away from me.”
Flynn winced. Because of him, his mother had destroyed Sage’s dream. And tonight, he may have ruined any hope she had of making a second attempt.
“I’m so sorry.” Tears tumbled down his mother’s face, leaving inky-black streaks of mascara in their wake. “What I did was awful. Unforgivable. I wish I could go back and change it. All of it. You and Kevin—you boys are everything to me. My heart and soul. And the day your brother—” Her voice caught, and his perpetually put together mother unraveled right before his eyes.
His heart wrenched.
Hunched over in the dim shadows, her faultless facade fell away, revealing a small, broken woman.
He moved to her side and wrapped his arm around her trembling shoulders.
She released a quivering breath and leaned against him.
