Page 10 of Ethan
“Really?” I ask.
“Yeah. Unlike you, it wasn’t in a big city like New York. It was a small town in Montana. Anyway, I had a partner. His name was Jeff, and we were pretty close. He was almost like a brother, honestly. Then one day, I went home early from work. Jeff received a call or a tip-off from the station that a criminal we had been trying to find was at a particular bar. He tried to call me, but my phone was dead, and there was no way to contact me. So, he took it upon himself to nab the guy. All alone, without backup.
Long story short, things got out of control, and by the time I got there, Jeff was already gone. I couldn’t forgive myself forthat. I quit my job and left the force. It still haunts me, even today.”
“That’s awful, Ethan,” I say softly.
“Yeah, but since then, I’ve taken it upon myself not to stray from this simple rule. Never get into any shit without backup. Unless I’m sure someone is covering for me, I don’t head into danger. I couldn’t be there for Jeff, but I at least owe it to him to do a good job and stay alive. That’s really all we can do. Help the people we’ve lost feel more at peace by showing them that we’re at least leading good lives.”
“I have a story like that too. But I can’t tell you right now because it’s going to just make me more upset. I want to pull myself together, but it’s hard. I feel like I led him to his death.”
“Audra, I’m sure wherever Capa is now, he’s probably at peace. He wouldn’t be mad at you.”
“You can’t know that,” I argue.
I feel him nod.
“You’re right. I can’t. I didn’t know much about the kid, but I know he had a good heart. And he seemed to care about you. You owe it to him to get through this. We both do,” Ethan says firmly.
I hear him, I really do, but it’s so fucking hard.
“Hey,” he says in a low voice, prompting me to look up at him. “You’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He doesn’t realize the implications of those words and the way they make me feel. He’s been so sweet and caring, and I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel the way I’m feeling right now.
“You broke your rule,” I suddenly say.
“What?” he asks, confused.
“You said you never head into danger without backup, but you did. In that alley, you knew no one had your back, and yet you followed me anyway,” I say softly, staring into his eyes.
“You’re different,” he manages to say.
“How? How am I different?”
“Because for some reason, I can’t think when you’re in danger.”
Those words are like a lightning bolt straight to my heart. I’m still staring at him. He groans before pulling me up so that our faces are close to each other.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but the look you’re giving me is really giving off kiss-me vibes,” Ethan states.
I chuckle, then nod.
“So, you want me to kiss you?” he questions.
“Yes, go for it,” I tell him.
My tongue darts out to wet my bottom lip, and that seems to be the last straw for him. He pulls me closer, taking care to mind my injured arm. I let out a sigh of relief when our lips finally meet. It’s everything I’ve ever thought I wanted and more.
His lips are soft but firm as he takes exactly what he wants. His mouth moves against mine, but it isn’t until his tongue reaches for mine that I let out a huge moan.
“Fuck,” Ethan whispers against my mouth.
I haven’t dated much in my life. I’ve never been one of those women who had enough time or willpower for a commitment. Most of my relationships in my adult life have been more casual than anything else. I can’t remember the last time I bonded with a guy on a more emotional level or any level that didn’t involve sex.
Maybe it’s because he saved my life, and we’ve bonded through our shared trauma the past few days. This kiss with Ethan is everything and so much more.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. You have no idea,” Ethan whispers as he kisses down my neck.
