Page 106 of Perfect Happiness
Jiyoo had been eating dinner when Mother came to pick her up from Grandma’s.She didn’t like most of what the nanny cooked—things like egg bibimbap and marinated chicken.But that day, Nanny had cooked her beef bulgogi and mushrooms.The bulgogi was good, but she was only able to eat a couple bites before Mother suddenly appeared and started turning the house inside out.The nanny tried to stop Mother, but Mother ignored her.After hiding Dad Puppet, Jiyoo stood nervously next to her bed.
Mother told Jiyoo that she wouldn’t be coming back to Grandma’s.She also told Jiyoo to leave behind most of her things: clothes, books, and an art set that Auntie Jane bought for her, even her school bag.Jiyoo lost her chance to take Dad Puppet with her.Because of this, Jiyoo suffered from nightmares ever since coming back to stepfather’s house.It didn’t matter when she slept; night or day, she always had nightmares when she closed her eyes.
Now that Auntie had brought Dad Puppet for her, Jiyoo thought she would be able to sleep better now.
Father will look after me.He will protect me from the loons, the endless staircase, the voice calling me to the marsh.
But now with Dad Puppet under her pillow, Jiyoo realized something.Even though she wouldn’t be having nightmares, the fear of Mother finding Dad Puppet would keep her up at night.But still, that fear was better than the nightmares.She could hide the puppet, but she couldn’t hide from the nightmares.And it wasn’t like Jiyoo could keep her eyes open forever.She would have to fall asleep eventually.
Jiyoo turned on her side and stuck her hand under the pillow.She felt her body relax as soon as her hand met Dad Puppet.Even the knot in her stomach was beginning to unravel.She was just about to fall asleep when a bright light caused her to open her eyes.A harsh white light was shining in her eyes.Jiyoo brought her hand up to her face to block the light.
“Jiyoo Cha.”
It was Mother’s voice.Jiyoo put down her hand, but she still couldn’t see Mother clearly.A blurry white object was approaching the bed.Jiyoo saw double of the objects in the room.But by the time her eyes adjusted, it was already too late.Mother had pulled back the sheets and taken Dad Puppet from Jiyoo’s hand.
“Get up,” Mother said in a soft whisper.This was the scariest whisper in the world.Jiyoo sat straight up.
“What is this?”
Mother waved Dad Puppet in the air.Sitting in bed, Jiyoo was frozen in place.Her vision was going blurry again.If felt like the room was starting to spin.Dad Puppet was coming in and out of focus.
“Are you not going to answer me?”
Mother’s voice got even quieter.
“I’m sorry.”
This was what instinctively came out of Jiyoo’s mouth.
Mother shook her head.
“I don’t want an apology.I want an explanation.”
Jiyoo dropped her head and stared at her knees.What should she say?She didn’t have an answer.
“Jiyoo Cha,” Mother said again.Her tranquil voice was warning Jiyoo that tonight wasn’t going to be peaceful, whether she told Mother the truth or not.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For taking Dad Puppet, without your permission.”
“Is that all?”
Jiyoo could feel saliva as sour as vinegar working its way up her throat.Her lower stomach was tightening, and she was overwhelmed with the urge to go to the bathroom.
“And keeping him without telling you.”
“And?”
“And—”
Jiyoo swallowed the saliva welling up inside her mouth.Her mind was dark with hesitation and fear.And ...and ...
“Did your stomach really hurt today?”
Jiyoo realized Mother knew everything.And she realized that she had missed her last chance to tell the truth.Mother held up a phone receiver, which she had been hiding behind her back, and brought it up to Jiyoo’s eyes.
