Page 57 of Perfect Happiness
That day felt like an eternity.Jiyoo spent the hours sitting on the windowsill as she held Dad Puppet.She didn’t wash herself.She didn’t even go into the shed or the attic to snoop around.The whole house was completely still.
A harsh voice took control of her ears.It blamed Jiyoo for Mother’s abandoning her, and pointed out everything she did wrong.
Mother left because you went downstairs in your dream when Mother told you not to, because you went into the attic and stole Dad Puppet, because you saw her come back from the marsh, because you went to the wetlands without permission, because you opened that cardboard box.
Jiyoo began to cry.She begged for Mother to come back.She promised that she wouldn’t disobey Mother again.She swore to stop listening to Mischievous Mouse.
Because of this, Jiyoo hadn’t heard the car come up the road.Nor did she hear the front gate open.She did, however, hear Mother calling her name, “Jiyoo—” but she didn’t believe her ears.She wasn’t sure if it was really Mother calling her, or if she was just so desperate for Mother to return that she was hearing things.
“Jiyoo Cha—”
The voice was calling from the bottom of the stairs.She wasn’t hearing things.Mother had returned.She wanted to call back to Mother, but the words wouldn’t form.She just whimpered like a puppy as she got down from the windowsill.As she did this, Dad Puppet fell to her feet.The sound of Mother’s footsteps coming up the stairs was echoing through the room.
“Jiyoo—”
Mother’s voice was close.Jiyoo could sense her on the landing.She sucked her whimpering back into her stomach.She suddenly became lucid.Mischievous Mouse appeared inside Jiyoo’s ear.
Quick!Quick!Mother will be here any moment.
It was already too late to hide Dad Puppet.Mother would come into the room before she had time to even reach the bed.Jiyoo kicked Dad Puppet under the desk.She rubbed the tears and snot with the hem of her T-shirt.The door opened as she did this, and Mother entered.
“Jiyoo, why didn’t you answer me?”Mother asked as she walked toward Jiyoo.
The look on her face was neither angry nor annoyed.She looked exhausted, like someone who was ill.Her right hand was wrapped in bandages and tucked away in a sling hanging from her shoulder.The fingers poking out of the bandages were bloated and red like sausages.
“I didn’t hear you,” Jiyoo said as she took a step forward.
Jiyoo had already given up on the idea of running toward Mother and hugging her.Even if she ran toward her, Mother didn’t have another hand to receive her.In her left hand was a bag of salad.
“Why is your face like that?”Mother asked as she stopped in front of the desk.
Jiyoo dropped her gaze and looked at Mother’s feet.She was inches from Dad Puppet.All she had to do was bend over, and she would see him.Jiyoo’s mouth opened on its own and began lying effortlessly.
“I fell asleep while waiting for you and had a scary dream.”
Mother turned her head slightly to look at the bed.The sheets were messy as though Jiyoo had just gotten up.But of course they were messy.Jiyoo hadn’t made her bed in the morning.This was the first time Jiyoo had ever not made her bed, and it was fortunate that she hadn’t.
“What kind of dream?”
“You ...left me behind.”
Mother’s head tilted to the side slightly in a tender way.There was a barely perceptible smile on her lips.
“Is that why your eyes are all puffy?”
“I thought it was real.”
Jiyoo’s eyes were glued to Mother.She wasn’t even blinking.She was afraid that if she looked beneath the desk again, Mother’s eyes would follow.
“Were you waiting at the windowsill for Mommy?”
Jiyoo nodded.
“My child ...”
Mother put the salad on the desk.The bag was filled with peas and lettuce.It looked like feed for goats.
“Come here.”
