Page 59 of Perfect Happiness
“It’s okay.Those things weren’t mine.Father left them behind.”
Mother told Jiyoo that a long time ago, Father had left a suit and dress shoes at the house.Mother brought these to give to Father.But it just so happened that Father received a phone call that his friend had died in a car accident that night.The funeral was being held the next day, so Father left in the suit and shoes Mother had brought for him.
“He told me to throw away the clothes he brought because they were old work clothes.But I didn’t have anywhere to throw them away.The dump truck doesn’t come to the cabin.”
Jiyoo nodded her head despite not knowing if this last sentence was true.
“I burned them.After all, we couldn’t take them back to Cheongyeon with us.”
Mother glanced at Jiyoo again through the rearview mirror.Once Jiyoo nodded her head, Mother focused her eyes back on the road.
“Your stepfather can’t know that we were with your real father.Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes.”
And she did.Jiyoo knew what Mother meant immediately.There was just one thing she didn’t understand.
“Good.You’re such a clever girl.”
Mother’s eyes returned to the rearview mirror.Jiyoo liked these eyes.Eyes that were like warm water that could melt away Jiyoo’s worries.Eyes that said she forgave Jiyoo’s disobedience.Jiyoo didn’t ask Mother if she forgave her.She just believed it to be the case.
“And it’s a secret that we went to the cabin.We’ve been at Grandma’s the whole time.Got it?”
“Yes.”
“If someone asks you where we’ve been, that’s what you say.”
“Yes.”
Jiyoo didn’t ask why because that was the first rule of secrets.She wasn’t allowed to ask questions about things she didn’t understand—because if she did, the warm water in Mother’s eyes would freeze.Jiyoo pushed the words forming in her mouth back down her throat.
But then why didn’t Father take his cellphone?
*
It was morning when Jiyoo opened her eyes.The curtains were open, but Jiyoo couldn’t see outside.The window was filled with harsh reflections and was white with condensation.The hospital room door was shut, but Jiyoo could hear loud noises from the hallway: the rumbling of people’s voices, footsteps going up and down the hallway, wheels rolling along the floor.
There was a knock on the door.A group of doctors and nurses entered the room and stood in front of the bed.
“Hi, Doctor.”
Auntie appeared and greeted the man who looked like he might be the chief physician.He bowed back to Auntie.Jiyoo could feel her toes tensing up.She was nervous that the doctor was going to suggest they do something painful to her.
“Did we sleep well?”the doctor asked as he looked down at Jiyoo.
Jiyoo looked up at Auntie, who made eye contact with Jiyoo and nodded, as if telling Jiyoo to say hi to the doctor.
“Hello, Doctor.”
This made him laugh.The other doctors and even Auntie laughed, too.Jiyoo was confused why they were laughing.
“I guess that means yes?”
The doctor raised his eyebrows seeking confirmation.Jiyoo thought for a moment about whether she should lie and say she slept well.
“In some ways yes, in some ways no.”
The doctor pursed his lips and looked at Jiyoo.But judging from the crow’s feet lingering round his eyes, Jiyoo could tell he was still smiling.
