Page 146 of Perfect Happiness
Why did you get divorced?”
Yuna sometimes appears in Eun-ho’s dreams to ask him this.He hesitates before answering.
“She told me to get out of her life.”
Yuna cackles.A gust of snow scatters her laughter.Overhead, the sky sparkles with the vapor trails of falling meteors.He leans in to hear Yuna’s whisper.
“That’s unfortunate.”
*
“Why did you do that, honey?”
Yuna invades his dreams again.Eun-ho looks for Yuna with bleary eyes.He sees a dark figure beyond the falling snow.
“You’re just like my grandfather.”
Yuna lowers her head and looks down at him.Her headlamp blinds him.
“Oh, but you don’t know my grandfather, do you?”
The entire world is quiet.Eun-ho can’t see the Half Moon Marsh yet.
“My grandfather was a famous ornithologist.But he had a stroke and lost all his dignity.He couldn’t walk, he’d soil his pants, and started to slur his speech.Anyway, he would go for a walk in the marsh every morning.He would always take me with him.When we got to the Half Moon Marsh, he would tell me about the ducks.I was happiest when I was there with him.Do you know why?”
Walking uphill, Wife stops talking as though out of breath.Eun-ho tries to move his fingers without Wife noticing.He only manages to wiggle the tips of his fingers.
“Because I was suffocated at the cabin with my grandmother.”
Eun-ho wanted to tell her that she could take it slow if she was out of breath.
“My grandmother used to be an elementary school teacher.And a wicked teacher at that.By the time I started living with her, she was old and retired.I was her last student.Every day, I had to follow the time schedule she set for me.I had to get up early in the morning, eat breakfast on time, and go to sleep early.I wasn’t allowed to watch TV for more than an hour a day.She gave me homework and tests to do, too, and if I did poorly, she would punish me.Tell me, Eun-ho, would you be able to take that kind of treatment?”
The wheelbarrow stops.Wife waits a moment for emphasis.
“Well,Idid.For two years.I was afraid that if I didn’t, Grandma would abandon me, just like everyone else had.”
Eun-ho feels the cold.His lower back shivers uncontrollably.Eun-ho’s numb face is covered in ice and snow.
“You look cold.Are you okay?”
Wife’s damp breath reaches his ear.
“I should have filled a thermos with some hot coffee.That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
She talks as if they are on a picnic.Eun-ho can imagine Wife grinning at him under her rain cap.But he’s too afraid to open his eyes.It feels like it’s been an eternity since he last loved this woman.A sob escapes between the gap in Eun-ho’s lips—but a sob of pity, not fear.
“That was a nice break.Shall we keep going?”
Wife starts moving again.
“Where was I?Oh, yes.I was telling you about my grandmother.”
The wheels of the wheelbarrow roll well over the snowy path.The blizzard is getting worse by the second.
“I begged my dad to take me home every time he visited the cabin.I cried and clung to him, telling him how I hated living with Grandma.But no matter how much I begged, no matter how hard I cried, no matter how stubbornly I clung to his legs, he would always pry me off with his cold, unfeeling hands.After he left, Grandma would scold me.She told me I was a dumb girl, who didn’t understand what was going on.I would lash out at her in anger.You think I’ve got a bit of a temper, don’t you?But anyone who went through what I went through would develop a temper.What she should have done was console me, not lock me in the attic whenever I let my temper show.”
Wife pauses for a moment.Eun-ho tries to listen to his surroundings, but everything is dead silent.Eun-ho is beginning to feel like the police are never going to show up.
