Page 68 of Body Check
The words wash over me like ice water, even though I knew they were coming. I do my best to listen as the doctor explains the diagnosis and where we go from here. Thank Christ my aunt came along today, because there’s no way mom and I are retaining everything we need to.
“I think that drug trial is a good idea, Diane,” my aunt says as we head to the parking lot. “Russ is so young, and I think I read that means he has a better chance of responding to the medication.”
I hug my aunt Janet and my mom, but I stay quiet. I’m not a talkative guy on the best of days, so I see no reason to start now. I tell them goodbye because I should get back to campus. At least, I feel like I should. Hell, I don’t know. Nothing feels right, but staying in this hospital might drive me crazy.
When I get to the hockey house, Mickey’s eating a bowl of cereal at the counter, and Dean’s lying on the couch watching a basketball game. I stay quiet and head up to my room, but since that’s how I usually operate, no one seems surprised.
I strip off my clothes and step into the scalding hot spray of the shower like it has the power to wash away the stress of theday. I fucking wish it would. When I slip under my covers and set my phone on the nightstand, I see a string of unread messages.
And they’re all from Bridgette.
I know I’m a shithead—and a shitty boyfriend—for not reading them, but I just can’t. I’m not ready to step back into reality just yet, and I don’t know how I’m going to explain everything to Bridgette. I don’t even want to say the words out loud because then they’ll be real, and I can’t handle that.
I’m a guy who faces challenges head on. But not this one. All I want right now is to bury myself under the covers on my bed and shut out the world.
And that’s exactly what I do.
31
Bridgette
I’m having one of those days where nothing is going my way. I had two client no-shows at work, and there was a pop quiz in psych that I wasn’t totally prepared for.
And my boyfriend is suddenly acting like I don’t exist.
He hasn’t answered any of the texts I sent yesterday, and when I messaged this morning to see if he was okay, all I got was the thumb-up emoji.
What the hell?
It’s so unlike him that I’m starting to worry. Dutton Wagner gives new meaning to the word attentive. We’ve been stuck together like glue since our first date, so it doesn’t make any sense that he just stopped communicating all of a sudden.
Maybe he’s sick? That could totally be what’s happening. It’s flu season. Maybe he came down with a nasty bug.
Whatever it is, I’m going to figure it out. Maybe those no-show clients were a sign from the universe that I need to get my ass to the hockey house and check on my boyfriend. And who am I to ignore the universe?
The house is mostly empty when I arrive, but Deano’s on his way out, so I say a quick hello and head for the stairs. Dutton’sdoor is open, and he’s not lying in bed with a fever. He’s sitting at his desk with his laptop open, typing away.
“What the hell?”
When he turns toward the sound of my voice, I realize that I said the words aloud.
“Oh, hey,” he says, looking surprised to see me.
I’m seriously beginning to wonder if he’s been abducted by aliens or something because he’s not acting like himself at all.
“Did you see my messages?” I blurt.
“Yeah,” he answers, palming his phone. “Sorry about not getting back to you last night. I got busy, then I fell asleep.”
“Okay,” I say. “But you barely texted back this morning.” I hate the words that are coming out of my mouth right now. They make me sound needy and whiny, and that’s not how I feel. “I’m confused,” I admit. “It’s not like you to be out of touch like that. I thought something was wrong.”
Dutton looks up at me for a second before turning his eyes back to his computer screen. “I just got busy. Finals are coming up, and my practice schedule is crazy. I’ve just got a lot going on right now. Nothing’s wrong.”
His words make sense, but something feels off. I just can’t figure out what it is. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid.
“Well,” I say, taking a calming breath because I clearly need one, “the good news is that break starts tomorrow, so you should have a little time to relax.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he half-heartedly agrees, still locked in on his laptop screen.
