Page 61 of Player
"Come on," he says, taking my hand.
I follow him as he opens a gate leading into the stadium grounds. I guess his intentions are far from innocent. In fact, we have sex every time we see each other. We climb up the bleachers to the top of the student section, and when Player finally stops, I notice a blanket he's laid out on the aluminum seating.
I furrow my brow as I examine his setup.
"You want to do it here?" I ask.
He tilts his head to the side while looking at me. "Why not?"
I shrug. After all the places we've done it, this one seems almost too "intimate." For reasons I can't quite explain, I'm not really in the mood tonight. Even though I feel that familiar desire, I feel somehow disconnected.
Player doesn't wait for my response before sitting down onthe ground. I can read the impatience in his eyes, and I let out a small sigh as I sit down next to him. His eyes meet mine, and I expect him to kiss me or touch me, but he surprises me by pointing his index finger toward the sky. "We're here for that."
I lean back against the railing, and see that the starry sky is particularly brilliant tonight.
"Lie down," he invites me, doing so himself.
Fascinated by the spectacle the clear sky offers us, I comply.
"Do you know the constellations?" I ask him.
Player gives a little chuckle. "Not at all!"
My confusion grows with each passing second. This kind of date isn't like him.
"There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight, and I thought it might be nice to watch it together," he explains. "But if you'd rather go back..."
I turn my head toward him and see his profile outlined against the white wall that marks the end of the bleachers. I resist the urge to trace the contours of his face with my fingertip. This man never ceases to surprise me. One moment, he's an insatiable and inventive lover, and the next, he's inviting me to watch a meteor shower.
"Be careful, I might start thinking there's a romantic side hidden deep inside you," I tease him.
He turns his head in my direction, and his gaze locks with mine. I think I forget to breathe. That's the Player effect, he can stop me in my tracks with either anger or desire.
He studies me for a long moment before asking, "Is that what you'd like?"
I furrow my brow, surprised by the turn this evening is taking. I was expecting intense physical sensations, but certainly not for my heart to race like this. Somehow, I feel like he's asking me a trick question. If I answered that I wanted aromantic relationship, I'm sure I'd lose him immediately. What we have is just for sex—he's been very clear about that.
"Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to ask me to the winter formal or anything like that," I dodge. I shift my attention back to the stars so he can't read the bitterness on my face. Whatever tale I like to tell myself, I can't blind myself to the truth. Player means more to me than I'd care to admit, and what looms on the horizon doesn't please me at all. What will happen when my feelings have grown too much to contain?
My throat tightens and I struggle to swallow. My eyes sting. I take a deep breath to push back my dark thoughts. Player's hand finds mine, our fingers intertwining as we gaze at the sky.
I decide to ask him a question to change the subject. "What's it like being the center of attention when you play?"
My eyes remain fixed on the stars twinkling softly thousands of light-years above us. The silence stretches between us, long enough that I think Player won't answer, but he surprises me by saying:
"Actually, I don't have time to think about it. When I enter the game, all I focus on is the outcome of the play. Each one rolls into the next, into the next. I visualize the victory, and only that."
"We attract what we radiate," I murmur.
"I don't believe in luck or chance," he replies. "Even less in the law of attraction or all thatnew agepersonal development bullshit."
I turn my eyes from the stars to look at this intense and unfathomable man. Despite sharing embraces, I don't know him. My throat tightens at this thought. I wish so much that he would open up to me.
Maybe that's what he's doing right now.
My heart beats a little faster. What if despite what he says, this date is romantic?
"In sports, it's training that pays off, Dixie. Hard work, that's the only thing that matters."
