Page 44 of Mate
“You mean that you don’t sleep every— You know, don’t answer that.” And I used to think that my job was stressful. “Did you just never outgrow your backyard camping phase— Oh. You sleep inwolfform.”
“Like God intended,” he says, with the tone of someone whose opinion of God’s will is that it’s secondary to his own. Rationally, I know that Koen wasn’t born with a pack to boss around. There must have been a time in his life in which people surrounding him wouldnothave thrown themselves under a banana car just because he snapped his fingers at them.
And yet I can’t picture it. “I can’t stay with you, Koen. I need to be on my own.”
“Do you need to, or do you want to?”
“Does it matter?”
“No. You’ll do what I say anyway.”
I close my eyes. “Maybe I should just go back to Lowe and Misery— ”
“Who, notoriously, have nothing and no one more important than you to worry about,” he drawls.
I press my lips together.
“Word of advice, killer?” he murmurs. “Stubborn and stupid is just a couple letters’ difference.”
“You’re not the best speller, are you?”
A smile pulls at the edge of his mouth— and then mine. We share a long look, equally frustrated and amused by each other. A weird string strains between us, tugging at me, reminding me that I like him, I liked him from the start, I don’twantto fight with him.
Maybe I could tell him. He would understand, I think. He’s gruff and abrasive, a little mean, but also aware of cumbersomestuff like duty, responsibility, love. He wouldn’t judge me for doing what I needed to do. Maybe he’d help me through my last few months. Maybe I wouldn’t be so alone.
That just sounds . . . good. So good, I nearly say,Koen, I need you to know something.
But he would never keep a secret that big. And then Misery and Lowe and Ana would know, and I want better for them.
So I ask, in my most hard-ass tone, “What do I have to do to get you to let me stay on my own?”
He pauses, staring at me in that serious, uncompromising way I should be afraid of. “You want to be on your own?”
I nod, eager.
“Okay.” He drops the pillow. Flicks his fingers for me to follow. “I’ll allow it.Ifyou prove to me that you can handle it.”
DURING THE TEN-MINUTE DRIVE, I EXPERIENCE MOUNTAINS OF RELIEF, picturing Koen dropping me off at a quaint little cottage after proof that, at long last, I have acquired the ability to plug a charger into a socket.
I should have expected something more like me on a gym mat. Wearing borrowed shorts and a white tee. Standing in front of a tall blond woman who looks like an underwear model tough enough to survive an extinction-level event. She’s inscrutable in a pants-pissing way.
“This is Brenna,” Koen says, much closer to her than he is to me. I don’t know why I notice, or why it makes my belly heavy. “One of my seconds. She manages this gym and trains most younger members of the pack in hand- to- hand combat.” They exchange a small smile. Clearly, they go way back. “Serena here said that if she’s expecting an attack, she can fend for herself.”
“Would you like me to prove her wrong?” Brenna sounds bored. I doubt she thinks much of me. Then again, doIthink much of me?
“I need to make sure she won’t die on my watch. Lowe’s mate likes her,” he adds.
“You do have a soft spot for Lowe,” Brenna agrees, like it’s his fatal flaw.
“This is unnecessary,” I say. “For one, regular Weres are much stronger than Vampyres. And in a scenario in which I live alone, I would have weapons.”
“I don’t mind if she uses a weapon,” Brenna offers, challenge shimmering in her eyes.
“Well, she can’t. And highly trained Vampyres defeat Weres in combat all the time.” He gestures toward me with a small flourish. “Show me that you can be the last one standing in hand- to- hand, and I’ll let you live wherever the hell you want. Okay?”
I can tell he expects more protests. So I smile sweetly. “Okay.” And add, under my breath, “Alpha.” His jaw twitches like he didnotlike that, but I must be in the mood to taunt him. “You didn’t have to take me all the way here. You could have sparred with me yourself.” I tilt my head. “Unless you’re afraid of me?”
His expression flattens. “Sure. I’m afraid. It’s not that I have better shit to do than to wrestle spoiled little girls who love wasting my time.”
