Page 54 of Mate
It’s a bit of an odd thing to say, and I want to dig deeper, but more Weres turn toward us. They wave at Koen. Smile at me. A small group introduce themselves, the warmth of their welcome undeniable. “I thought they’d hate me,” I say as we walk through the sliding doors.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Because I’m a freak? Because I’m putting the entire territory in danger? Because I’m taking up their Alpha’s time? Pick your poison.”
“Most people really do see you as a symbol of unity.” He fetches a cart. “And the ones who don’t know better than to say anything about it.” I remember the necklace. Koen’s near certainty that it was just a prank. Maybe it’s the only way for pack members to protest my presence?
“The Southwest has been pretty shitty to Misery. Still is.”
“Vampyres are more controversial than Humans, and the Southwest is a hotbed for conflict— three species practically living on top of each other? Fuck, no. Plus, Lowe’s only been in charge for a couple of years and inherited a pack from a neurotic nutjob whose decades-long power structure was built on fearmongering and misleading information. It’ll take him a lot of work to undo that.”
“What about you? Was your previous Alpha a nutjob?”
His jaw shifts, as though he’s biting the inside of his cheeks. He eyes some fruit, pensive. “Our former Alpha made mistakes, but none came from a place of malice, like Roscoe’s. We’ve had issues with some of the neighboring Human settlements, but we also owe them. That part of our history speaks too loudly to be ignored.”
“Well, that’s certainly very convenient for us half Humans.”
He picks up a bag of oranges. Takes a step toward me. “We live to serve.” For a moment I think he’ll— Is he going tohugme? But no. He’s just dropping the fruit in the cart. “Why’s your heart beating like that, killer?”
My stomach flips. I’m about to blurt out an excuse, but a young woman interrupts us. “Alpha? Do you have a moment?” She’s holding the hand of a boy of eight or so, who stares at me open-mouthed. When I wave at him, he hesitantly waves back, somewhere between starstruck and petrified. Maybe I should offer him an autograph. Capitalize on this new fame while I still can. Sell jerseys. Run for office. Sign partnership deals.
It’s nightmare fuel.
The rest of the shopping trip is marvelous. It’s my first time walking around in public since before my abduction, and I can almost make-believe that my life hasn’t changed in every way. I could be Serena Paris, journalist forThe Herald. This could be the store closest to my apartment. The brands are different, the junk food selection isappallinglylimited, and I cannot help giggling at the size of the fur-care section. But overall, there is something delicious about discovering that Weres like goldfish crackers, too— except theirs are shaped after the phases of the moon.
The box saysLunar Bites, and I text Misery a picture.But are they peanut butter?is her response.
I buy ingredients for a few of the dishes I enjoy cooking, more out of habit than hunger. A couple of people introduce themselves and shake my hand— nice, if unpleasant. I read the back of a bone-health supplement jar. Study the herbal teas. Feel the texture of every single blanket they have for sale. Pick up a candle. Smell it— lavender, vetiver, a hint of vanilla. Decide that I love the scent and inhale it again. Put it back on the shelf. Investigate pillows I don’t need, find the softest, and rub my face against it.
It’s so mundane and wonderful and cozy, the banality of the supply chain. The quiet thrill of BOGO sales. The rack of sparkly unicorn ears that Ana would totally squeal at. Koen follows a few steps behind. I think he wants to be discreet, give me space, but I don’t need much in terms of feminine hygiene products, because I’ve never had a period. I’m okay with using his shampoo— he smells really,reallygood— and he already gave me a spare toothbrush. Moisturizer feels like a hassle. I used to be a sunscreen evangelist, and truly believe everybody should use it, but people like me (i.e., those who won’t live long enough to develop melanoma) are exempt.
“It was nice,” I tell Koen in the car.
“Grocery shopping?”
I nod, unsure how to explain that I haven’t felt this normal and grounded in forever.
“If this is a beloved pastime of yours, you may continue doing my grocery shopping. At no cost to you.”
“Cool. I’ll be in charge of buying your— ”
“Unicorn waffles. Look at you, holding on to jokes like your life depends on it.”
It’s what I’ve got, I think. I lean back against the headrest, roll my chin up to look at him. “Thank you for— ” I immediately start laughing when he begins to protest.
“I told you to— ”
“Come on.”
“— just dust the goddamn fixtures— ”
“Listen, just . . .” I rub my eyes. He immediately falls quiet. “Do you think the Vampyres know I’m here by now?”
“I’m certain.”
I tilt my head. “Are you ever not?”
“Not what?”
