Page 107 of Mate
I moan and rotate my hips— an unwise impulse. We both exhale. Our brains glitch, and we have to stop for a few seconds, until that bug is fixed. “You can keep me forever,” I mumble into his throat, and his cocktwitchesunder me. “Is this okay? I’m making a mess of you, and— ”
“Domoreof it.”
I obey, rolling slowly, savoring every little bump. His blood pounds against my ear. I could lick his gland now, but I’m afraid that I’ll come, andthiswill end, and I don’t want it to. Not yet.
“Last night,” he says against my cheekbone, “you fell asleep, and I couldn’t stop thinking about your fingers. How they’d been between your legs. How I could have licked them.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. Imagine how difficult this must be for him. “What does . . . celibacy. What does it mean?”
He stares up, cheeks flushed dark. “I’ll get you a dictionary for your birthday.”
“Koen. Where is the line?”
“The line is everywhere, Serena.” A hollow laugh. His hand travels up my spine. Cups my nape. Our lips are closer than ever, but never meet. “My entire life is made of fucking lines. And you’re blowing past all of them.”
It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I’m the one standing still in a storm. “What about this?” More grinding, and my clit catches against something that has my thighs shaking. “What if I’m doing all the work? What if you’re just my . . . Mine.”
“Stop,” he says.
I do. Inhale deeply. “Want me to move away— ”
“No,” he orders before I’m done talking. “You’re so— I just need a fucking second.” He squeezes his eyes shut. His head falls back. “I cannot come, Serena.”
“Why?”
He takes slow, long breaths. Collects himself.
“Is it because if you don’t come, we can pretend that this is not sexual? That it’s a favor you’re doing for a . . . friend?”
He snorts. Opens his eyes. They are pitch black. “It’s been sexual since the second I saw you, and . . . I havefriends, Serena, and you’re not one of them. But yes. It’s easier to forgive myself if we make this about you.”
I bite my lip, ready to protest how unfair this is, but stop, mortified. I don’t want him to have toforgivehimself. He doesn’t owe me anything. “I’m sorry. I— ”
He shakes his head. Twists his hand so that it curves around my cheek. “Hush,” he croons into my ear. “You’re all worked up. And wet. Just a handful of days from your first Heat.” His teethscrape against my jaw. “It’s okay. I know how hard this is. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
I agree with a mindless nod. The need in my blood is rising. I will die without this.
“I’m going to make you come, however many times you need. And then I’m going elsewhere to make myself come.”
“I can— ”
“No, Serena. You can’t. ButIcan. I want you to tell me what you need, and I want the privilege of giving it to you. I want you to use me.” A kiss on my collarbone. “If you think there is anything I would like more than seeing my mate through her Heat, you are fucking wrong. If this is all I get, I’m going to make the most of it. Okay?”
I nod again, which gives him a path to my throat. His mouth closes around my gland and it’s so sudden, so shocking, I scream. “Koen,” I gasp, moving my hips again. The pleasure is white-hot. “Feels so good.”
The curve of a smile. “Feels better for me than for you.”
“Impossible.” My breath tumbles out. “I . . . I tried.”
“Hmm?”
“Touching my glands. But it didn’t really— not like when you touch me.”
“Sweetheart.” He nips at it.
I shudder, full-bodied. “It has to be you, Koen. We’re like . . . lock and key? It has to beus.” I rock in his lap, demanding release. Closer and closer, clumsier and clumsier.
“You’re my mate, but I’m not yours. There will be other keys for you.” A flat-tongued, broad lick. When he bites me again, it feels a little more violent. Like he could easily break my skin, and he wants me to know. “And I’ll do my best not to kill them. No promises.”
