Page 115 of Mate
“How old was she?”
“When she had you? I cannot say for sure. Around twenty.”
Thatis the problem. She was younger than I am now. Pregnant with the baby of a Were cult leader whose restraint was worthy of Caligula’s orgies. Lost girl to lost girl, I cannot help wondering whether she felt alone. Overwhelmed. Scared.Proud, I’m sure Irene would say, but . . .
Am I just projecting? Because we have the same fucking cheekbones?
Get it together, loser. She didn’tloveyou because she’s cupping her bump. Lots of people like babies in theory but not in practice.
“No need to make that face.” Irene’s tone is gently reproachful. “She was very happy to become your mother, Eva.” More pictures slide into my field of view. Smiling lips pressed to a baby-fat cheek. A tiny infant foot, much smaller than her palm. A candid, breastfeeding. Sitting in a meadow. Smiling up at the camera while a toddler fists the stem of a columbine.
I see the splotch of tears on the mahogany before I even realize I’m crying.
“She was very good with numbers. So are you, I am told. And she loved the ocean. Even though she had little access to it.”
I look up, unsure of how to deal with all of these— thesefeelings. Irene, though, seems genuinely sympathetic.
“She also kept a diary where she logged all your milestones. First step, first word, favorite foods. I believe it was destroyed, because I couldn’t locate it. We had to be very careful with our records— the downside of being constantly ostracized and persecuted. It was a wise choice, since the Northwest’s inability to know the full extent of our ranks is the only reason we wereable to rebuild. But I can tell you that she adored you. And you adored her back. You were such a little angel. Very well behaved.”
I try to swallow a sob. Fail. This isugly. Shoulder-shaking, tear-slick, full-bodied crying. For a woman I’ve never even met. What do I care about the tragedy of her life? And why, when Irene covers my hand with hers, do I allow it?
“You may not have any memories of the Favored. But you must recall what it was like, being alone. Away from your people. I can assure you, Fiona didn’t let go of you. You were taken from us when the Northwest decided to hunt us down, snuff us out— ”
“Why did they do that?” I snatch back my arm. Curl it into my lap. Allow myself one last sniffle before I confront her. “What was the reason?”
“You are too young to remember— ”
“But I’ve been told. Is it a lie that Constantine targeted the Northwest leadership and killed thousands?”
Her mouth curves in a displeased line. “Did they tell youwhy? Did they explain that Constantine won the challenge against their Alpha, but the Northwest refused to allow him to step into the role that was his right?”
I lean forward. “And what about Koen’s father, Irene? Did younotuse him to lure Koen’s mother?”
“Koen Alexander is an illegitimate leader.” Her dark gaze sharpens. “Your father . . . he may have used the Alpha’s mate to draw her to himself. But after, he won fair and square.”
“That’snothow the challenge works.”
“And who decides that? Who establishes the rules? The Alpha. The pack. The system was rigged in their favor— but Constantine outwitted them. He should have been the leader of the Northwest, not hunted down like a beast, forced to hide in more and more remote locations, and then killed in cold blood.” She closes her eyes. Collects herself. “I struggle to understandwhy you do not see that Koen is your enemy. But maybe it’s your approaching Heat talking.”
I recoil. “How do you know about that?”
“Oh, dear. Jess has been good to us. Very helpful indeed. She was one of the Favored, did you know that? They slaughtered her parents and gave her to a Were family. But unlike yours, her memories remained. She gained access to your clinical file and told us that you lost the ability to shift. She delivered the necklace. And, of course, she let us know about your Heat.” The line of Irene’s mouth softens. “You are very close, I hear.”
Fuck this. “I want to go back.”
“Ah, yes. That injection. You know, there’s no need. We have a handful of Weres who’ll be happy to service you. You may choose whoever you prefer among them. And who knows, there might even be a baby from this Heat. Constantine’s heir. He has performed bigger miracles than that. After all, we’re close to the anniversary of his birth.”
“I think I . . .” Just threw up a little in my mouth. “It’s a pass for me. I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t. Heats in human form are dreadful. I must say, I was surprised to hear that the current Alpha was willing to allow you to avoid yours. But then again . . .” She sighs. “Koen Alexander was always unpredictable. We could never take him by surprise. Before you arrived, that is. We are very grateful to you, for making him a little more like his mother. And his mother, we were able to deal with.”
I clench my teeth. “If you’re thinking of using me to trap him, he won’t come. He’s smarter than that. He has spent his entire life aware of how you ruined his family, and— ”
“Eva. There is nosmartwhen it comes to falling in love. Haven’t you learned that?”
“Koen’s priority is the pack. He won’t jeopardize it.”
“We’ll see.” The tilt of Irene’s head gives me goose bumps. “You should ask him when he arrives. He won’t be long, dear. But you’ll have all the time you need.”
