Page 13 of Mate
“Not when the moon was like this.”
“When it was smaller, if I recall correctly. And I do.”
I force myself not to tense. Weres pick up on physiological changes like sentient lie detectors, and I nurse too many secrets to have someone as perceptive as Koen on my back. “Maybe you have me mixed up with someone else.”
He shoots me another dissecting, eviscerating look. “Does your sudden inability to shift have anything to do with thereason you decided to disappear on a two-month holiday in the middle of the forest?”
Yes, it does, and no, it’s none of his business. “The reason I decided todisappear, if that’s even a word you can use for someone whose whereabouts were nevernotaccounted for, is that the things I had to deal with in the past year include, in chronological but not traumatogenic order”— I lift my hand and begin counting with my fingers— “the slow realization that I’m not fully Human; the even slower realization that I’m much wolfier than I ever believed; my abduction and subsequent imprisonment at the hands of the Vampyres; baby’s first mass murder— in which I partook as themurderer; and, at long last, coming out to the rest of the planet as the first Human-Were hybrid.” I thrust my splayed hand in Koen’s face like it’s the world’s most fucked- up bingo card and bat my eyes at him. “I think my need for rest and relaxation was justified.”
“Not to kill your buzz, but I doubt you get to claim a Mass Murderer commemorative coin if it was in self-defense.”
He’s probably right. And I don’t feel bad about the (two? Three? Seven? It’s all a blur.) Vampyres I killed to protect Misery. “Still. Rearranging my self-image from law-abiding citizen to opportunistic slaughterer did require some inward work. Ego-concept adjustments. Self-reflection. Bawling. That kind of stuff.” I gather my knees to my chest, pull the hoodie over my scratched- up shins, and ask, “How did you know, by the way?”
“Know what?”
“That someone was going to come for me at the cabin.”
“Lowe called me earlier today. Two Vampyres, Bob and some other jizzmuffin, tried to hack the Southwest and triggered some intrusion detection systems. Alex, their IT guy, realized that they were looking for your location.” A beat. “And Ana’s.”
I cover my mouth with my hand. Ana and I have one thing in common: we’re Human-Were hybrids. But while I went public with my real nature, hers is on a strict need- to- know basis.
Because Ana isseven years old.
“Is she— ”
“Okay, yes. Bob was able to track you through your sat phone and followed you up north. There was no information on Ana. But Alex planted some to lure the other jizzmuffin deeper into Southwest territory.”
“And?”
“Lowe killed him, of course. But prior to his . . . untimely demise, Lowe’s mate did that”— he makes a vague circular motion— “hypnosis thing on him.”
“What hypnosis— Oh. The thrall?”
“Yeah. That.” Koen’s expression clearly states,Not a fan. It’s a common Were feeling.
“So Misery thralled Jizzmuffin? What did he say?”
“A member of the Vampyre council is offering several life-changing amounts of money for a hybrid.”
“Which member?”
“The fact-finding didn’t get that far. Either Jizzmuffin didn’t know, or Lowe got impatient and graduated early to the massacre part of the night.”
That’s unfortunate, but I’m inordinately proud. “Good on Misery. And to think that she used to say I was the only person she could competently thrall.” Koen’s glare is bemused, so I hurry to explain, “Consensually. She practiced on me when we were kids.”
“Shepracticedon you.”
“Of course. How else was she supposed to learn? She needed a brain to train on, and mine was right there.”
“Maybe there was permanent damage. That would explain it.”
“Explain what?”
“The many things that are wrong with you.”
I frown. “Like what?”
“Your self-imposed isolation. How much weaker you’ve gotten since I last saw you. The fact that you smell exhausted. Your affinity for lies. Your refusal to shift even when your life depends on it— ”
