Page 159 of Mate
“Hmm.” The sound reverberates through me. “The thing is, I don’t think any of what happened is for you to feel sorry for. Aside from the toaster.” He picks me up, one arm under my knees, and carries me outside to sit us on a chair on his porch. My head fits perfectly under his chin, my legs drape across his thighs, and this is a terrible idea.Anyonecould see us.
But I’ll be gone in what, twenty-four hours? If it’s all going to shit anyway, let it go to shit while I’m in his lap.
“Can I tell you something?” I force myself to say before I lose the courage. “And it’s not . . . I’m not asking for anything. I just want you to know, because . . . I just think that maybe you’d enjoy knowing?”
His chin bumps against the crown of my head. A nod.
“I was wrong. When I said that you weren’t my mate, even if I was yours. And I know what you’re thinking: ‘No, you idiot, you just fell in love with me like any regular person would, that’s what happens when two people who like each other spend time together,’ but this is . . . more. I liked you from the very start, in a way that had never happened to me, and all these feelings . . . I don’t think I have the words to explain, but I . . .”
His chest bounces under my ear. I pull back to find that he’s laughing silently.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m just glad you figured it out.”
“You mean, you knew?”
“Not for sure. But there were signs.”
“Oh.” I blink. “Really?”
“Serena, our first meeting sent you into Heat.”
I flush. “Well, we don’t know that. It could have been a coincidence.” He looks doubtful. “Seriously. Maybe Alex the IT guy sent me into Heat.”
“Yeah. Except, you couldn’t bear to be touched by anyone but me.” A smile plays at the corners of his eyes. “People without mates are much less discerning when they’re in that situation, believe me.”
“Oh.” I stare into the distance, then back at him. “So . . . youaremy mate?”
“We might never know, since your biology is different from a full Were’s. I don’t care very much, because . . .”
“Because?”
“Because you’re perfect.”
I lower my eyes, feeling too full of . . . ofeverythingto hold Koen’s gaze. “Well. I guess it doesn’t matter much. I didn’t tell you, because . . . I wasn’t trying to give you a reason to step down.”
“Good. Because I’m not stepping down.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. It’s fine. Better than fine, it’sexactlywhat I wanted. Koen, staying with the Northwest. The right thing to do. “Good,” I echo. I need to change the topic, before I beg him to do something he really shouldn’t. “Were the huddle leaders fuckwaffles about . . . stuff?”
“No more than usual. They said that I’m emotionally compromised over you. Which is true.” His thumb traces my lower lip. “Has been true for a while, really.”
“Maybe. So you have— so you have feelings. Big deal.” I might be indignant on his behalf, which is ridiculous. Koen doesn’t need me to protect him or advocate for him, and yet here I am.“It changes nothing. Every single decision you have ever made has taken into consideration the good of the pack.”
“Yeah. They would agree with that.”
“Good. Because it’s bullshit. You can— you can be in love with someone and still be a fantastic Alpha. The thing is, I love you, and mate or not, I wouldn’t love you half as much if you weren’t the kind of person who deserves it. And one of the reasons you deserve it is that youcare.” My stupid eyes are leaking. And Koen . . .
Koen is failing, abysmally, to bite back a smile. “Everybody agrees with you, killer. Including the Assembly.”
“Good. They fuckingbetter.”
“That’s why they rescinded the covenant.”
I don’t get it. Not at first. “What?”
“They know what happened. They know how you stood up to me. They know that I let you be our bait. They know that you saved my life. They said exactly what you said.” His hand runs through my hair. His eyes follow its path. “That your presence doesn’t influence my ability to do my job. But I think they’re wrong.”
