Page 24 of Uriah's Orbit
By the time I had gotten off stage, and dealt with all the media, and cast members and wished the understudy ‘break a leg,’ it was nearly six at night.
Uriah was nowhere to be found.
I had to catch dinner with the rest of the guys before the listening party at eight. I didn’t have time to hunt him down. I suspected he’d left anyway.
Leaving through the stage door, I was happy to find that it was deserted. I walked down the street slowly, heading for Carmine’s. Once I was there, there was going to be no way to hide that I was Austin Lowell of UDLR, but I could pull my hat down for now and pretend.
God, I needed a few blocks to think. I hadn’t had a chance earlier.
Uriah was smart to stop the kiss. I wasn’t ready to be out to more than my bandmates and a few friends. It was too much to handle as we were shifting gears with the band.
But, there was no denying that Uri was hot. Every time he dropped another nugget about himself, I wanted to know more. Somehow over the course of the past two weeks, he’d become a real friend. He was probably the only person who stood still long enough to talk to—though I suspected he was this nice to all of the cast. He wasreallygood looking and even though I’d known I was gay for years, like twelve or more, I’d never reacted to anyone the way I did to him.
I was, actually, pretty pathetic for a pop superstar. I didn’t tag ass—I was too terrified of being caught and losing the contracts for our albums. I hadn’t ever dated seriously—I hadn’t done much more than kissed since I got the audition for the band. I didn’t want to be the cause of our complete downfall.
Bryce’s sister, Poppy, had a soft spot for me, and once I confessed to her that I was gay, she played the beard for a few years. I did like her, and I spoiled her, but we knew the deal. At the end of the night? She went home. Toward the end, we even worked out a way for her to sneak out and make it look like we were sleeping together.
We’d canceled the arrangement eight months before because she found someone. Ironically, one of the tour managers from our tour. We made public noises about always being friends and respecting each other. Holden felt bad—until she and I agreed he could be trusted with the truth: there was never anything there. He was relieved and he agreed to be the tour manager as long as UDLR was a touring entity.
He, and Poppy were probably already working on the new tour. Which made me happy because I’d get to see one of my best friends again, and Bryce could hang with his sister.
My entire love life was a lie. Or an exaggeration. Didn’t matter, wasn’t real. I was twenty-seven year old gay man who didn’t know how to be gay, or even have a clue how to step out of the closet.
I mean, I hadn’t even been sure that I’d been kissing Uriah correctly. Did gay men kiss differently than men and women? It sure as hell didn’t seem like it, and I liked every second of his mouth on mine.
Just reassuring me that I was, in fact, gay. Also that I was not in a position to do anything about it. Yay me.
Well, I hadn’t gone for more than a quick handy since we started recording. I got caught, and I realized how bad it would be for us. I just backed off and I stuck with Mary Palm and Her Five Sisters.
The few stolen kisses I’d gotten away with were nothing at all like the hungry possession that I felt with Uriah. The idea that I could keep kissing him, and keep thrusting my dick against his, and keep my arms around him made me lose my mind.
He was experienced at being out. At the very least I owed him a thank you for keeping me from humiliating myself. And I owed him another one for making me see the sense when I didn’t want to care. If I were going to come out, I couldn’t do it in the back of a dusty costume department of a theater.
It had to be orchestrated.
Which just made me want to duck back behind the shoes in the closet.
Someone screamed at me, and suddenly there were a dozen someones screaming at me. I looked up and I was already at Carmine’s. There were at least three dozen Up Down Left Right fans standing there waiting for me.
Time to put on the charm.
After signingfor at least five minutes, Taylor and Luis pulled up in their ride and climbed out. They joined me in the signings and selfies just waiting for Grant and Bryce.
It was another two minutes for Bryce and five for Grant, and he stepped out with Angela and Hailey.
To my surprise, a few of the girls knew who Hailey was and screamed for her to sign some of the merchandise they were holding. She happily did and a moment later picked out a mother and daughter to have dinner with us, then handed out four pair of tickets to the listening party that night.
I adored this woman.
We walked in, and the manager had our table ready, in the back corner of the restaurant, set with all the requisite tableware and drinks.
The daughter, a girl named Miranda, was just eleven, and it seemed that she and her mother, Lydia, were big fans. Miranda was a little shy as she sat next to me.
“You okay, kiddo?” I smiled.
She turned and looked at me in awe. “I’m surprised. I’m sitting next to the guy who really sings the song that my mom used to sing to me at bedtime.”
Grant’s eyebrows shot up and he looked surprised too. “She did? Which one?”
