Page 10 of Marcus in Retrograde
“Not even close,” I said, trying to keep the anger at myself out of my voice.
“How did you find out you were a gray-romantic?”
“By not reacting sexually to men in real life. I was only interested in my fictional gay romance heroes that I learned about through the course of a book.”
“So, no porn?”
“Unless it has a story.”
Kieran started laughing. “Stories in porn. That’s a good one. They stopped trying that in the early 80s.”
“And no one online has a clue that there are people who aren’t into thedrill his ass by mark-thirtyguideline.” God, I was making coffee and talking porn with a really hot guy who clearly wanted me and there was still nary a wiggle in the willy.
Christ, I was so broken.
“So, how do you handle…self…uh…”
I chuckled, and turned the coffee pot on. “Books. Lots and lots of books. I love series because I get to know the characters and then when they get lucky in the book, I have a conversation with Martin Palm and his five brothers.”
That had him throwing his head back with a loud laugh. I could see his Adam’s apple bobbing with his boisterous laugh, and…
Oh. Hello, libido. It’s about time you woke up.
“So you have a really big collection of books then?”
“I’m an expert at left hand reads on my ereader.” I opened the fridge and pulled out half and half, then brought it and the sugar to the table.
He was still laughing at the left hand joke as I found two mugs in the cabinet and put them on the counter. I took a deep breath and turned, leaning back. “Kieran, thank you for being patient with me. It’s so hard to get guys to understand I can’t just hop in the sack. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much I try to explain.”
He lifted his lips into a small smile. “Are you kidding? Meeting a guy who wasn’t there just for a hookup was a miracle. Most men assume that because I’m trans, I’m just a freak in the sheets and in the briefs and…” He sighed. “It’s hard. It’s all just really hard to get someone to realize I’m not a freak, and I’m not into fuck and flee. Not when I have so much baggage.”
“I’m getting too old to play the games,” I agreed. “Nothing comes easy.”
“Well,somepeople come easy.” He chuckled.
The coffee pot beeped at me that it was done brewing, and I quickly poured the two mugs. Setting the coffee pot to warm, took the hot drinks to the table. I put one down in front of Kieran, and took a deep breath. “Wanna watch a movie?”
He nodded and grabbed the half and half. “I’d like that.”
We both dressed the coffee the way we liked and on the way to the living room, I kicked off my shoes and took off the tie.
I hoped that Kieran got the idea.
I also hoped my libido was paying attention.
“Let’s see,” Kieran said, picking up the remote. “If I remember correctly, you like sci-fi, superheroes, and Hallmark romance.”
I coughed and blushed. “I like more than that…”
He elbowed me and had a cheesy grin on. I blushed harder.
“So, cable or streaming?”
“Oh streaming,” I said. “I’m too busy and flighty to deal with cable.”
Flicking on the TV, Kieran found the services I had and navigated to the screens he wanted. He was on a mission and in seconds he hadJupiter Ascendingon the screen.
I laughed. “Okay, Channing Tatum. I can do that.”
