Page 44 of Jace 4Ever
He nodded. “And then destroy our band. We’re not the commercial puppets we were set up as. We’ve evolved, especially in the past four, five months. UDLR is a legit band, and we know our worth. But if all these fans abandon us because I’m gay…”
I rolled the label down the bottle. It was a habit with me. “I said it before, I’ll say it again. Fuck them. What you do in your bedroom has no bearing on what you do on stage, or in the recording booth. Grant said it—you could be a role model for these kids.”
The silence was short, before I turned and looked out at the city again. “More, you could be a lifeline. The difference between us, just what? Seven years? Is shocking. Kids…hell, people are way more accepting of the spectrum of sexuality. But there are enough homophobes out there, enough haters, that the kids coming up now, the ones who we are the role models for, are still scared. They are still subjected to that hate.
“You…wecan be lifelines. Show them it really does get better as you get older. Show them how our give a fuck has disappeared and we can be authentically us.”
I tipped my head. “So, you’re afraid of wrecking the band. Let me ask you this, now. What is going to be the fundamental differences between Now Austin and Future Gay Austin?”
“Differences?” I asked.
“Yeah. What is going to make the two versions of you different? Gonna start farting glitter? Walking around with your dick flopping out? Indiscriminately grabbing any male you can find and sticking your tongue down their throat?”
His lip turned up. “No. PDAs like that are just gross no matter who it is.”
“So, what’s going to be different?”
Austin stared at me. “Is there an answer?”
“There is.” He nodded.
The quiet night stretched a few minutes while he thought about what I said. I thought about it too. How many times had I been through this in my own head, just sorting my thoughts as a teenager?
Austin started and stopped a few times before he finally had an answer. “Nothing. Nothing will change. I’ll still be Austin Lowell living in a sea of nearly two million people. But instead of being afraid one of those people will judge me, I’ll have thousands who support me.”
Standing up straight, he glanced over at me. “There is one thing that will change. My happiness. I’ll be able to just be and be happy with who I am.”
Nodding, I held up his beer and he clinked my bottle on his. He came to the right conclusions.
“You got it. Happiness. I’m tired of pussyfooting around the fact that I’m gay. I’ve known I was gay since I was twelve. Guys do it for me, and Jace is someone I really want to explore a relationship with. I’m not going to be discreet anymore. I’m not making an announcement, but it’s going to be obvious that I’m into guys if you’re paying attention. My—our happiness is worth any judgment some small-minded bigot can pass on us.”
Smirking, I canted my head. “I know you don’t know Jace well, but…you think he’d like to go to the Oscars with me?”
“Who wouldn’t!” Austin laughed.
“He’ll look so good in a tux. Maybe a de la Renta?”
“Armani. Double breasted.” He laughed. “Or let Uriah make him one. That would make them both happy.”
“And does Uriah’s happiness concern you?”
Austin laughed. “Oh yeah. It does.” He took a deep guzzle of the beer. “So. Who should we give the interview to?”
The laugh bubbled up. “I have a really good friend who’s up and coming at Rolling Stone. She’d lurve a scoop like this. She’d love an interview with all of you. Just, make sure you’re doing it for all the right reasons.”
“Role model, lifeline, happiness,” Austin said. “That I get to be happy in public with Uriah is just a bonus.”
“I’ll have her people call your people,” I said.
“I havesomeone to go with me.” The words jumped out before I could stop them.
“You do! Awesome! Are you going to be out here in time for a fitting or will you need one in New York? And what boutique? Should I contact VanCleef and Arpels for a loan—”
“Cary, stop.” My words sliced into her delighted hyper train of thought. “Let me ask first, but we’ll be in Los Angeles at least a week before the awards. Don’t book anything yet, okay. Just let me ask and get the schedule cleared.”
“Wonderful,” Cary said. “I have the messenger lined up, so the scripts will be there shortly. Do not forget to call me back about clothing arrangements.”
“Book me in at de la Renta, and I’ll get back to you about my plus one.” Jace made a cute little grunt, which I knew was him waking from sleep. “I have to go. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
