Page 82 of The Tomorrows After You
Nicolette looked down, and I hated the way she looked so…dethroned.“Nothing, just small-town, jealous girl stuff.” She wiped her hands on the skirt of her dress and took a breath before meeting mygaze. “Really, Riot. It was nothing.” She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes.
I shook my head. “Nope, sorry, but I’m not going to let you do that thing where you pretend like everything is okay so you can stew on whatever is bothering you alone in silence. Not now. Not after everything.”
Nicolette scowled at my stubbornness and I was glad to have a little piece of her back. She picked at a cuticle.
“Why didn’t you mention that youhaveto stay here five years for probation?”
My heart clenched. It wasn’t like I had been trying to keep it from her. Part of me assumed she knew, everyone knew everything about me in this town. But the other part of me was too afraid to bring it up. Things had been so good the last few days and I wasn’t ready to pop the bubble by having the What Are We Doing talk yet.
I shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t sure where your head was at. For the last few weeks, all I’ve known is that you’re here temporarily and you’re planning to leave soon.” I saw her nod as if she understood. “And these past few days have been the best days of my entire life and if I brought up my probation, that would bring up your plans to leave. Just thethoughtof that conversation happening was enough to delude myself into pretending it wasn’t inevitable.”
I took her hand and squeezed it, trying to bring her back to life. “I’m sorry, Nicolette, I wasn’t trying to hide it from you—”
But shewaveddismissively.“No, no it’s okay. I get it, Riot. You didn’t owe me that information. I guess it justsuckedhearingit from Katie.”Sheleanedback andlether full head of blonde hair bounce against the headrest. Her head lolled to the side. She gaveme a soft look. Itstirredsomething in my chest but Iwasbotheredby a piece of what shesaid.
“Nicolette, it may nothavecome up or been the right time to talk aboutfutureplans. But you need to know…” Imadesure shewaslistening carefully, “that I do owe you. I owe youeverything.” My throattightened, and I mentallykickedmyself in the nuts to keep it together. But, goddamn, if this woman didn’t bring me to my fucking knees.My heartsplitopen and therushingurge to give her everything overwhelmedme like a massive dam thatwasfinallybreaking. “Iwasin prison for ten years and for ten years Ithoughtthat the day Igotout, I would feel like a new man.
“I made all kinds of plans and I pictured how my life would be different. And then I came home to a place that no longer felt like home. I’ve spent eight months here feeling like I was just in a bigger prison cell.” I found her eyes again and I steeled my voice. “And then you came back and suddenly this place felt like home again.”
Nicolette bit her bottom lip and tilted her head. “Is that what you want?” she asked, her voice low. “To make Godot your home? If there was a choice, I mean. Probation aside.”
I paused to think about it. I had never pictured a life anywhere else, probably because I’d never been anywhere else except for a few weekend trips here and there. I took a breath. My head began to spin. I shrugged helplessly.
“I don’t know, Nicolette. I’ve been trapped inside my circumstances since I was eighteen. I’ve never considered a life outside the present tense.”
She looked out the front window and nodded.
“What do you want?” I asked her, holding my breath for the answer. None of this mattered if she didn’t wantme.My chest ached at the thought. She was quiet for a long moment.
“I don’t know either, Riot.” The words stung, but I understood. “I know that it would be next to impossible for me to have a career here. And I’m not sure Iwanttomake a home somewhere so many peoplevehementlydislike me.” She looked defeated, and I desperately wanted to hold on to her. “I guess, I just had thisplan… I was going to come back here and bust open some huge scandal about the church owning the town or some drug conspiracy cover-up—”
She got quiet and then lurched forward. She spun her large eyes to face me and her entire expression lit up. She pulled out her phone and started tapping.
“What’s going on?” I tried to keep the alarm out of my voice. I wanted her to finish her thought. I wanted to know what she had been thinking. Was I enough? Could she wait until my probation was up to start a life elsewhere? That was selfish of me to think but I’d follow her anywhere.
“I’m not sure…” She continued swiping on her phone until she pulled up a dark photo I couldn’t make out. She zoomed in and turned the overhead light on.
She pushed the photo in front of my face and I jerked back. I could make out some kind of commercial truck parked next to the water tower. My eyes darted between her and the photo. I tried to see what she saw, but I had no clue what I was looking at. But the energy radiating from Nicolette was positivelybrimming.
“What am I looking at?” I asked.
“That is a truck from Echo Chemicals pouring fluoride into the town’s water supply,” she said excitedly. Despite the fact that I still had no idea what she was talking about, I did love the look of pure glee on her face. She looked like a little girl going to a birthday party.
I shook my head, still confused. “They put fluoride in the water supply?”
“The fact that Blackwellisdoing it under the cover of night so the town doesn’t knowiskind of ridiculous, I mean who doesn’t want healthy teeth?”Sherolledher eyes.
“Pastor Blackwell admitted to dumping chemicals into the town water?” My eyes went wide.
“Yes, I mean, no,that’snot the point. It’s fluoride, most of the country does it by default.”Shewaveddismissively.
“Then what does it mean?”
“Nothing on its own but when Ifoundout that the churchwasessentially the sole source of funds for the Center, IconfrontedBlackwell about where all this moneyiscoming from. Ithastocostthousands of dollars for this much fluoride and upward ofhundredsof thousands to keep the Center up and running.They’rea church. Not even a mega church.”
“What’s a mega church?”
“So, I asked where all the money was coming from?” She ignored my question. “He said almost thirty years ago he started investing all the money that people donated into hedge funds.” My eyes went wider and I opened my mouth but she held her hand up to shush me. “He said the money has been paying out hundreds of thousands of dollars in dividends every month so on top of all the money people donate, thereal moneyis coming from the success of the investments.”
