Page 97 of The Tomorrows After You
God, Ihatedher. Ihatedher for lying to me. Ihatedher forrecordingthat whole goddamn conversation. Ihatedher forthrowingaway ten years of my life. And as my thoughtsdriftedto my brother, Ihatedher for taking away the last member of my family. But mostly, Ihatedher for making me fall in love with her while she did it. Ihatedherbecause throughout everything, shewasstill the one person Iwantedto lean on right now.
When we got back to the house, my resolve began to crumble, my rage reaching a violent pressure point. As I darted for my room, she called out.
“Riot, I didn’t send that audio. I never recorded that conversation! I have no idea how they have it!”
And the rage bubbleburst.
“Why should I believeanythingyou say?” Her face was inches from me and I towered over her cowering frame. “You’ve been lying to me since the day you got here! And now my brother is facing criminal charges in Charleston because ofyou!”
“Thosearefederal agents, Riot. They can’t possibly beinterestedin a small-town murder investigation. I understand howupsetyou must be—”
“Clearly, you don’t because if youdidunderstand how upset I am, you’d be packing your bags before I cut the goddamn screen room off the goddamn house!” My voice echoed and the whole room might have been shaking.
“There is no reason for the FBI to look into a closed murder case.”
“Then what could they possibly want with my brother, Nicolette?” I fumed. Her expression registered a thought.
“He helped me with the drone… maybe it has something—”
“Then it’sstillyour fault! Somehowyouare at the center of all of this either way! And now, thanks to you, they have audio evidence my brotherkilledsomeone!”
“Riot, I had no idea that existed.”
“Whydoesit exist, Nicolette? How the fuck could you let that happen? I would have thought of all people,youwould be more cautious about fucking recording devices!”
The wounded hurt on her face stoked my anger. Her eyes narrowed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means disaster follows you, Nicolette. It follows you everywhere! At some point,you’regoingtohaveto take a hard look and recognize thatyouseem to be the source of it.”
I was wrongfully blamingherfor that sex tape and even though I didn’t believe that, I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to wound her beyond repair so that she would walk out of my life and leave me to try to put the pieces back together, yet again.
Nicolettelookedas if shehadbeenpunchedin the chest and I couldn’t stand to see the despair on her face anymore.
“Get out. Now. Out of my house. Out of my town. Out of my life.”
Without another word, I spun around and slammed my bedroom door shut so hard something clattered to the floor.
It tugged at the memory of our first kiss when I’d pushed her against the wall and a frame fell over. The memory added a whole new level of pain to my soul. I leaned against my closed door and let the events of the day flood back to me. They were so overwhelming I started to feel dizzy.
Collapsing on the bed, I raked my hands over my face. A sob choked in my throat. Angry, devastated tears rolled from my cheeks onto the pillow, where they mixed with the haunting scent of lilacs.
38
Nicolette
My body shook violently, making it remarkably more difficult to pack my things. The nausea overwhelmed me and I had to stop a few times because I was sure I’d get sick.
Just get out. Get out and get some air and try to straighten it all out.
As I threw the bag in my car, I took one last look at Riot’s house and my heart split open, driving away.
Iblewout a long exhale,catchingmy breath before turning off the engine andlettingmy eyes land on the library.
The world had no sounds. The tears dried on my face, creating a mask, fixing my features in despondency, holding the pain there permanently.
I couldn’t bring myself to think about Riot. About how much I alreadymissedhim. How I wish I could explain. So, Ithoughtabout anything and everything besides him. Ibangedmy head on the headrest,screamingin frustration.
