Page 47 of Pucking the Single Dad
"They were really close and looking at each other with the feelings face." He demonstrated what looked like severe constipation. "Then they jumped apart when I came in."
"Not kissing but wanting to kiss is worse," Kelly observed. "The tension's giving me hives."
As if orchestrated by fate and bad timing, a love song started playing over the speakers. The cosmic bowling lights dimmed to full romance mode.
"Oh for fuck's sake," I muttered.
"Language," Serena said automatically, then pulled me down for a kiss that definitely wasn't strategic.
It was nothing like the desperate gala kiss. This was deliberate, performed for an audience but somehow more intimate. Her hands framed my face, my arms went around her waist, and for a moment the chaotic bowling alley disappeared.
"GET A ROOM!" someone yelled—probably Theo.
We pulled apart to thunderous applause and Finn's assessment: "Finally! Do you know how exhausting it's been watching you two pretend you don't want to smoosh faces?"
"Smoosh faces?" I asked.
"Matthew's term."
"That kid Matthew knows too much," Serena observed.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur of terrible bowling, excessive PDA for the PI’s benefit, and Finn explaining to everyone how Miss Serena was helping him with his homework in creative ways.
Driving home, Finn asleep in the back, the performance aspect faded into something real.
"That was..." I started.
"Necessary," Serena supplied.
"I was going to say nice."
"Oh." Her voice went soft. "Yeah, it was."
"The PI got enough photos to wallpaper a courthouse," I said. "Mission accomplished."
"Right. The mission." Something in her voice made me glance over. She was staring out the window, still wearing my jersey, looking like everything I never knew I wanted.
"Serena—"
"We're really doing this, aren't we? Pretending to love?"
"Yes. Is that terrifying or wonderful?"
"Both," she said, and reached across the console to take my hand.
In the backseat, Finn muttered in his sleep: "Miss Serena... tell the judge... we keep her..."
Even unconscious, my kid was fighting for our family.
The PI could photograph that.
Chapter 16: Serena
The ancient school bus groaned as it navigated another hairpin turn, and I gripped the cracked vinyl seat, trying not to slide into Brad's massive frame for the dozenth time. His thigh pressed against mine—solid, warm, impossible to ignore in the cramped space designed for children half his size. Finn bounced between us, his excitement vibrating through his small body like electricity.
"Miss Serena!" He smashed his face against the window until his nose went pig-flat. "Did you know pine beetles are basically tree vampires? They suck them dry from the inside and leave whole forests looking like skeleton graveyards. Mr. Robert showed us pictures—it was disgusting."
"Bloodthirsty bugs. Delightful." Brad's hand hovered near Finn's inhaler pocket, a reflexive check I'd witnessed countless times. The gesture made my chest tight with affection I had no right to feel.
