Page 38 of The Hardest Hit
“No one should ever be like Evan,” said Evan firmly.
“I could do worse,” said Jackson with a shrug.
Evan tried to think of an adequate response to that. Fortunately, Stavros returned with food, saving him from having to say anything. “Oh my God, that smells amazing,” Jackson burst out, causing Stavros to grin.
“That is how I get you,” said Stavros, tapping his nose. “I lure you in and once you taste it you have to come back.”
Jackson shoved half the gyro in his mouth and grinned around the mouthful and gave a thumbs up. Stavros laughed and scuttled off to help the next customer.
“Can I ask you something?” Evan asked, putting down his gyro. He rarely got to talk to Jackson without another family member around and he felt like he should take advantage of it. Jackson nodded, his mouth still full. “Does Grandma ever…” He trailed off, trying to formulate the question he wanted to ask. “Does Grandma ever talk about us?”
“Yeah, of course,” said Jackson.
“Maybe I don’t mean us. Maybe just the family in general. I mean, I know she cares about us, but other families seem to… reminisce? Maybe we just don’t have anything good to reminisce about.”
“Mm,” said Jackson, nodding, and Evan grinned. Jackson rolled his eyes. “I think, reading between the lines, that she grew up very poor and married Henry pretty young. I don’t think she was even eighteen when they tied the knot.”
Evan looked around and leaned across the table. “I’m pretty sure her family owed Henry money.”
Jackson let out a hiss of dislike.
“I’ve never had any proof of it,” said Evan, sitting back. “Just something Dad said one time. He was quoting Grandpa though and that makes it seem even more likely.”
“Well, that fits with some of the things I’ve heard her say,” agreed Jackson. “But my point is that we know what kind of person Henry was, and I think that basically until after the plane crash her life was pretty hard. I think she is extremely hesitant to point out happy times, even in retrospect, in case someone comes along to ruin them.”
“Yeah,” said Evan, itching the back of his neck. “Yeah, that makes some kind of sense, I guess. My dad… He was truly afraid of Grandpa. I don’t remember him very much and that’s because Dad would go out of his way to keep me away from him. It was the only thing I remember Dad and Grandma and Randall all being on the same page about.”
“She doesn’t talk about Henry at all,” said Jackson. “Like zippo. Not bad or good. If he comes up then she keeps it factual. No reminiscing.”
Evan frowned, trying to dig through his memories for something concrete about Henry.
“I would have thought Owen and Randall would have stopped being scared of him after he got sick,” said Jackson. “There wasn’t much Henry could do them as adults.”
“Not to Randall,” said Evan. “But Dad…” Evan petered out and looked up in embarrassment at Jackson. “Things were different back then. I know that sounds dumb because it wasn’t that long ago, but Dad, um, he didn’t… He wasn’t straight.”
“Well, all of the Deveraux keep secrets… Right, not what you meant. Sorry. That was dumb.” Jackson looked so embarrassed that Evan laughed.
“In the Deveraux context, I see how you got there,” said Evan. “But yeah, I meant that Dad was bi, and in retrospect, he was ashamed of it. I think Randall was the only one who ever made him feel accepted. And I think he was afraid of what Henry and Eleanor would do if they found out.”
“Do we really think Eleanor didn’t know?” asked Jackson.
Evan shrugged. “I don’t know. As we’ve just been discussing, she never talks about the past.”
“You know what I love about Nika?” asked Jackson and Evan shook his head. “She is so dang smart, but damn I hate when she’s right.”
Evan laughed. “What’s she right about this time?”
“We need to be more honest with each other. It feels like every time we peel back a layer on this stupid family we find one more, but we can’t figure it all out until we start talking to each other.” Evan sighed and hung his head. Now he felt guilty.
“You’re not going to stop taking the train, are you?” asked Jackson, taking another bite of his gyro.
“No,” said Evan, feeling stubborn, but also a little worried about Jackson’s reaction.
“You all are going to be the death of me,” said Jackson, shaking his head.
“We keep your life interesting,” said Evan, feeling relieved.
“I don’t want it to be interesting,” complained Jackson, but he was smiling and Evan smiled back.
