Page 98 of The Hardest Hit
Aiden sighed and scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I can’t believe Grandma did this. And even if we fix it… What’s to stop her from doing it again?”
“Nothing,” said Jackson.
“Well,” said Dominique, sounding calm, “then we are going to have to explain it to her.”
“Agreed,” said Jackson. “But not until I’ve got the pictures in hand. We can’t give her a chance to fight back.”
35
Olivia – Baking
Olivia stared at the wall and waited for the cookies to finish baking.
One week.
She kept waiting to cry. Because Evan had broken up with her. He’d been very clear about that. And that ought to result in tears. But instead, she kept baking and obsessively re-running the conversation in her head. It hadn’t been much of a conversation, more of a soliloquy. She couldn’t figure out what the hell had happened.
He’d stood in the hall. His arms down at his sides, his face ashen, and he’d said he couldn’t see her anymore. And she hadn’t said anything because she kept waiting for him to say something that would make that statement make sense. She’d literally blurted that out at him.
“That makes no sense, Evan.”
His hands had twitched like he wanted to reach out for her. But his mouth had just repeated its nonsense. It was as if all the parts didn’t match up. Like she’d forgotten to carry the one or cross-multiply or something. So she went over it again. Trying to figure out where it had gone wrong.
“You love me, Evan.”
He’d stared at a point above her head and said, “No. I lied.”
That had made her cry at the time. Why would he say something so hurtful? He couldn’t just say that it wasn’t her, it was him, or whatever bullshit, people said these days. He had to say that?
Then he’d left. He’d turned around and walked away. She’d followed him to the elevator and stared at him as he got in. She probably looked like a lost dog, but at the time, all she could think was:that makes no sense.
Logically, it didnotwork. She went over it again, looking for more nuance. She was starting to hate herself for obsessing. She kept trying to solve it like an equation, to make the conversation come up with a different answer. She looked down at her hands. They weren’t doing anything. They needed to be doing something. Did she have yarn somewhere? She could try knitting.
Sooner or later, she was going to realize that there was only one answer to the equation. She’d probably cry then.
Her phone chirped with a text message. Her grandmother had started texting recently. There had been invitations to come home for a visit. And a job listing in Atlanta that was actually applicable to her field.
Olivia ignored the phone and flipped on the TV. It was on PBS, of course. A woman was talking to the camera. Olivia could tell the woman was an expert in her field because she was horribly dressed in a jolly fleece vest. Nerds who didn’t have an Evan could never get dressed appropriately. The caption said the woman was an Occupational Therapist.
“Body language is the second form of communication that humans use to express their wants and emotions. As with speech, the autistic child has difficulty, or no skill at all, deciphering what a person is saying with facial expressions or body language. If you want someone to come closer you wave to them. If you want somebody to know you’re angry, you usually have a scowl on your face. If you are sad or happy, you can see the emotion in your facial expression and how you move your body. We work with high-functioning autistic individuals to get them to recognize these cues. The interesting thing is that once they reach a level of proficiency, they frequently become frustrated. They find that the body cues of happy, angry, sad, don’t necessarily match up with the verbal cues. Like this.”
The woman frowned heavily. “I’m very happy.” She relaxed her face. “Other cues, like crossing your arms, standing too far away, or turning away from someone—those are blocking signals, no matter what words are coming out of their mouth. It can be very confusing for those on the spectrum to be getting these mixed signals. Or… basically… lies.”
Olivia stood up with aneepof excitement and took a step toward the door.
Evan had been lying. He loved her. His body said so. No matter what his stupid mouth said.
She stopped, breathing heavily. Then she sat back down again.
Why?
Why had he been lying? What could make him do that?
The woman on TV was still talking, and impatiently, Olivia turned off the TV. She could look up the program later. She should also probably make another donation to PBS. Their programingdidenrich her life.
She couldn’t just go ask him. Could she? If he’d wanted her to know the truth, he would have just said it the first time.
She looked at the kitchen table that contained a cake, two pies, and the first sheet of cookies. Possibly run a bake sale at work and do a matching donation?
