Page 92 of The Hardest Hit
“No, I haven’t talked to her since the hospital. I called Dad a couple of times, but that’s it. Why?”
“I spent an hour on the phone with her last night. She was a weepy mess. She kept going on about how you don’t respect her because she never finished college. Which then sort of segued into how she has no job skills and no future.”
“Well, maybe she should have finished school,” said Olivia.
“Liv, you hyper-educated freak, not everyone is meant for college. And as far as job skills, she’s been managing Grams and Pops farm for years. If she came out here I could get her a job in like twenty minutes.”
Olivia sighed. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Sofia won’t ever leave. She’s going to end up married to some asshole who pats waitresses on the butt and thinks that’s OK.”
“She feels stuck and abandoned, Liv.”
“Yeah, I’m familiar with the feeling,” snapped Olivia. “That’s why I left. And as I recall, when I said I was leaving she told me I was never going to do better than Clark and I was being stubborn, standing too much on principle and buying into the myth of the modern woman.”
Tyler groaned. “We’ve got to get her out of there.”
“I tried! I told her to come with me. She wouldn’t leave. And now she won’t even talk to me.”
“I’ll work on her,” said Tyler. “Just maybe next time you talk to her try not to be so condescending.”
“Maybe she shouldn’t call me a whore every time I turn around.”
“You know that’s Pops talking.”
“Ty, do you ever wonder if Mom would be alive today if she had just fucking moved away from Pops?”
Tyler was silent. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I have wondered that. But if she had, then chances are we wouldn’t be here.”
“So that’s the trade-off? Us for her?”
“No. It’s just... When people die we always picture the happiest possible outcome if only they had lived. I’m just saying, that’s not how it works.”
Olivia sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. But the longer I’m away, the more I see I should have left sooner. Do you know, Evan announces my title every time he introduces me? He’s proud of me. He thinks I’m cool. Which is obviously a mistake on his part. But my point is that it makes me realize how, I don’t know, shut off, I guess, that Mom was. She supposedly had all this family, but she was really on her own. She didn’t have enough people who liked who she was. Or at least she didn’t feel that way.”
“I see a therapist once a week,” Tyler blurted out.
Olivia took a second. “Good for you,” she said.
“OK,” he said.
“Is there anything we should talk about?”
“I’m jealous of the fact that you’re with Mr. Normal and I have a hard time making normal conversation with anyone.”
“Don’t be,” she said. “He’s as fucked up as we are. Really, in a very similar way.”
“I feel like Mom’s death overshadow’s and defines my life.”
“Yes,” agreed Olivia. “I’m working hard not to let it. But yes.”
“I’m really angry at her.”
“Yes,” said Olivia again. “But also, I miss her.”
“Yes,” he said. He cleared his throat. “OK, good chat.”
“Tyler,” she said, with a laugh, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said and it sounded wistful. “Next Christmas… even if we don’t go home, maybe you and I can I don’t know, go see Dad or get together or something. I don’t want the Ralph Taggert Christmas extravaganza, but I miss my family.”
