Page 21 of A Little Red
“All right,” he said, hoisting the cooler. “Tonight for dinner, you will be having fish.”
“Is it sustainably caught?” she asked, but with resignation written in the slump of her shoulders. He probably could have told her she was eating steak straight from the slaughterhouse and she would have taken it.
“Well, somewhat. My brother caught it this morning and that’s sustainable right up until he gets pissed off at the fish and throws his pole in the river.”
She gave a surprised laugh. “They’re so slippery.”
“They really are,” he agreed. “Go sit down with your bottle of wine and Bob Ross.”
“I didn’t want to wash my glasses. And he’s very soothing.”
“I completely understand,” he said. He had taken several naps to Mr. Ross’s painting tutorials.
She retired to the couch and curled up in a tiny ball and watched him while he cooked the fish and broccoli in her minuscule oven. And then because his nose could only take so much, he opened the skinny kitchen window to hopefully take some of the smell out.
When it was done, he washed her two wine glasses and drank wine while she ate. She looked really happy and he kind of thought that she might have licked the plate if he hadn’t been present.
“Do you really like rabbit?” he asked.
She looked guilty. “Yes.”
“Why don’t you eat meat from stores?”
Scarlet sighed. “I…” He thought for a moment she wasn’t going to answer and then she shrugged. “We were really poor when we were kids. Our mom was kind of unstable, but she at least was good at foraging. But if we didn’t hunt, then we didn’t get any meat. So I really don’t have a problem with eating meat. But then we moved in with my Grandma and that was a huge step up in terms of stability. Which was great, but after a while I…” She stared at Liam and he sensed that she was saying something that she didn’t share very often.
“It’s supposed to be a bargain,” she said softly, her eyes filling up with tears. “Their life so that I can live. And if I die, then so be it, because I will feed someone else. And if I make it through, then at the end, I’m supposed to go back to the land, to make the bargain complete. Only it doesn’t work like that anymore. At least I can pay the farmer for her time and effort. Maybe the industrial farm complex is exploitive and bullshit, but there’s some amount of compensation for labor. But I can never repay the cow. There is no bargain with farm animals these days. There is no care. No way to compensate. I can never repay them for what I take. I know that my decision is not for everyone or that it’s functional for a society. I’m not mad at people who eat steak, but I just… can’t.”
Liam felt like he’d been slapped in the ego. He’d been so certain of himself. He had shut Scarlet out and shut her down because he’d been convinced that he knew all there was to know about her and about humans.
“I really should have asked about this before now,” he said scrubbing his hand through his hair. “I should have asked about a lot of things.”
She was looking at him with those large eyes that looked a little scared, like he was going to say something hurtful. It made him ache that she couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t do that.
“All the meat in my fridge is venison or wild game,” he said.
She looked shocked.
“My family does very, very badly with chemicals,” he added. Which was the standard explanation and also happened to be true. “We also hunt all our own meat. I don’t like to talk about it because a lot of people disapprove and I thought you were a vegetarian.”
“Oh! No. I’m not. I’m sorry. Did you think I was judging you?”
“No? I don’t know. Most vegetarians are very judge-y. I assumed you were doing it behind my back.”
She laughed. “I really wasn’t.”
“I usually go back out before Christmas,” he said. “I’ll get you a rabbit then. If I’d known, I would have gotten you a rabbit over Thanksgiving.”
“I don’t need a rabbit. But you know how there are some smells and flavors that remind you of childhood? Rabbit is one of those for me.”
“I’ll get you a rabbit,” he said again, feeling smug. It was the first time he’d ever courted a human with wolf presents.
“Thanks,” she said, smiling shyly. There was a chittering outside the window and Scarlet frowned and got up to shut the window. “Sometimes,” she said, staring out into the street, “I can see the squirrels in the treetops at the park down the street and I think that if I had my bow I could have squirrel for dinner.” She blushed and turned to Liam. “That’s probably a bad thought.”
Possibly it was, but Liam didn’t think he’d ever been more attracted to her.
“Yes,” he said. “City squirrels are filthy.” He didn’t add that he knew this from experience, but sometimes they were so fat that it was hard to resist. “Just say no.”
She laughed and then yawned.
