Page 49 of Aleko
Pellos shrugged. “Do you like him?”
“Yes! He really looks at me and he tries to make me feel safeand he likes the same poems that I do.”
She felt stupid now that she said it aloud, and Pellos’s eyebrows had gone up.
“I did not know that he likedanypoetry, so… Yeah. My point is merely that if you like him, the rest is irrelevant.”
“Is it?” she demanded. “Because it feels like there are few things that might be important.”
“What things? Like the scary Egyptian lady trying to kill everyone? Or the fact that he’s a wolf?”
Lia burst out laughing. “I mean, yes, those things,” she said, still giggling. How was this a real conversation she was having?
“Meh,” he said with a wave of his hand. “These things happen. You get used to it.”
Lia laughed harder. “I’ll get used to it?”
“Well, I admit the Egyptian lady is a bit of a unique situation. But we’ve had lots of unique situations, and we always managed to make it through.”
“I like your confidence,” said Lia.
“It’s easy to be confident,” said Pellos, grabbing the tea towel and opening the oven to peer inside. “I’ve got a pack behind me.”
“You’re lucky,” she said wistfully.
“Needs a couple more minutes,” he said, standing up. “You could be lucky, too,” he said, turning back to her.
“No, Pellos,” said Lia, shaking her head. “Don’t do that. I know you want the world for him, but this isn’t a fairytale. I will never be anyone’s happy ending. You have to accept that. I have had to.” Her voice cracked, and she took a deep breath and tried again. “I have been very clear with him, and I’m being very clear with you. I won’t be staying.”
Pellos was silent for a moment, watching her thoughtfully. “Why not?” He raised his hand to forestall her next comment. “Disregard the dating issue for a moment. Pretend Alekos didn’t exist.” She gave him a look—like ignoring Alekos was possible.“Why wouldn’t you stay here?”
“I am going to succeed,” said Lia. “I’m going to be a translator.”
“You’re a translator right now,” said Pellos. “Seems like there’s plenty of work here. And I honestly can’t think of anywhere else you would fit in better. Each of us has been rejected and abandoned. No one else can understand you like we can.”
“But there is nothing wrong with any of you,” snapped Lia impatiently.
He nodded thoughtfully. “OK. What’s wrong with you?”
Lia took a deep breath of impatience. “I’m trying to be honest, but you’re not…”
“I’m not a polite person,” said Pellos. “I pry. I know, and I’m sorry. But you should practice on me because he for sure is going to want to know.”
Lia looked down. Her hands were clenched in fists on her lap. Consciously, she straightened her fingers and laid them flat on the counter table top. She remembered when she used to get manicures. Now she just thought it was nice that her nails were clean.
“You want to know, fine. But what I don’t want from you are solutions. I will tell you what you want to know, but donottry to fix me. Can you handle that?” In her experience, the answer was always no.
“I think I can promise that,” he said. Lia nodded and looked back at the countertop, running a finger along the grain of the wood.
“Before I came here, I was forcibly committed to a mental health facility for nine months,” she said without looking up. “I was only released when I lied and said their drugs worked and that I had stopped seeing ghosts.”
She looked up and found that Pellos hadn’t changed expression. He cocked his head to one side as if what she wasinteresting but not particularly shocking.
“After my release, I was brought along on my father and stepmother’s European vacation, but when my stepmother discovered that I had not been taking my medication, they left me with fifty euros and no passport.”
Pellos frowned and made a wolf noise of disapproval.
“The thing is, Pellos, if I had it all to do over again, I still would not fucking take the drugs. And I won’t be taking them in the future. Because I would rather see ghosts than be a ghost in my own life. That is my choice. But I won’t be making that choice anyone else’s problem, so I will be leaving before that happens.”
