Page 47 of Emergency Exit
“Yeah, that’s why he’s mad,” said Piper. “He’s mad because you’re refusing to continue the lie.”
“Oh,” said Harper. “I don’t think I know how to do that.”
“Nope,” said Piper. “And you really shouldn’t bother to learn.”
Harper stared at Piper, trying to puzzle through her words. “But it doesn’t make any sense, and I don’t understand why it’s that big of a deal. It’s just a mom being a normal human.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Denise, turning around, “Moms aren’t allowed to be normal humans. That really upsets people—men and women. After my first kid was born, I told my best friend—that’s the woman who has known me since I was fourteen—that I kind of thought my baby was a little on the ugly side. I mean, I love the little booger, but right after she came out, she kind of had that Winston Churchill look, you know?” Piper started to chuckle. “She got a lot cuter once her head got less pointy. And even at the time, I didn’t think being an uggo was a permanent state.”
“Oh God!” wailed Piper, her shoulders shaking in laughter.
“Anyway, you would have thought I’d declared I was thinking about taking up cannibalism as a hobby. She told me that I needed to seek help.”
“But you were just being realistic,” said Harper.
“But moms aren’t supposed to be realistic. They are supposed to uphold the mom mythology. It’s a patriotic duty. It’s the doctrine of blah blah blah. I don’t even know. I think it’s just an extension of what’s been expected of all women, but it distills down like liquor for moms. Like we need the extra stress.”
Harper felt a gut punch of fierce rage. “You can tell me your baby is ugly if you want,” she said, squeezing Denise’s arm.
Denise laughed and patted Harper’s hand. “I swear she really did get cute. Babies and kids change so much in such a short time.”
Harper let go, feeling a little silly. “I just meant you don’t have to pretend things if you don’t feel them.”
“Yes, I know, and thanks. But the same goes for you. Take it from someone on the other side of forty. Don’t waste your time on people who require you to be something you’re not in orderto be accepted.”
Piper leaned over Harper to wrap an arm around Denise’s shoulders and hugged her.
“Thanks, wise lady,” said Piper.
Denise laughed. “Well, I don’t know about wise, but I know a few things.”
Harper felt that Denise knew some things that Harper could barely identify, let alone put into words. Josh stayed on his side of the table, and after fries and half a beer, Harper decided she’d had enough. Declining Piper’s offer for a ride, Harper returned to the office to grab her lunch bag and change her walking-to-work shoes.
The walk back to the office was dark, blustery, and aligned with her mood. She liked her office friends, but she still missed Ash. He hadn’t been delusional about the singing skills of small, untrained children or expected her to be something she wasn’t. She swiped her card at the entrance and jogged up the stairs to her floor. What she needed was to find something that would put Ash out of her head. He was obviously ghosting her on purpose. She should take the hint. Harper resolved to try the dating apps again or maybe join some sort of club. Ash was gone. She could accept that.
But when she got to her desk, she found a Post-it note from Cindy on her screen.
A cute guy stopped by after you left. Said he thought you had plans.
And just like that, Ash was back.
15
Ash
Gen X is Mean
The bell rang for the end of the match, and Shihan took his mouthguard out and tucked it into one of the holes on his headgear. Tonight had been about group sparring—how to handle attacks from more than one person simultaneously. Ash had failed miserably.
“Ash, you are all over the place tonight and not in a good way. It’s like your brain keeps tuning out.”
Ash felt his shoulders slump. He spit out his own mouthguard.
“I forgot to refill my medication, and I’m finally back on it today, but it takes a bit to kick in.”
“Oh, bummer,” said Carlo. “Yeah, I tried to refill mine for a ninety-day supply, but it turns out you can only get it thirty days at a time.”
“Yeah, I had a whole thing with the pharmacy,” said Ash. Getting his medication was a constant battle in his life.
