Page 68 of Emergency Exit
“What did he say?” asked Ash, fighting to keep his voice under control.
“He didn’t say anything! He was just down there, staring at me! And then I looked up, and we were on the jumbotron, and then these words came up on the screen, and they said,Marry me, Harper!Then I freaked out and stepped backward, but I hit the seat, tripped, and tried to catch myself. But instead, I hit his hand, and the ring just…”
“Went sailing right out there?” Ash had one fist clenched, digging his nails into his palm, trying to keep it together. He could not laugh at her. She was practically crying.
“Yes. And then it went down the storm drain, and we never got it back, and when we broke up, Cooper said I owed him twelve thousand dollars for the ring.”
Ash felt like someone had dumped an ice bucket over him, and the laughter left his body. All he could think was that someone needed to punch Cooper Martin in the face. How dare he traumatize Harper like this? Harper swiped at her eyes, and Ash couldn’t take it anymore—he pulled her into a hug.
“Don’t cry, Smoak,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
“There’s a video on YouTube,” she said into his chest. “And Instagram and Facebook Reels. Probably TikTok. I don’t know. I deleted all my social media after it reached a million views.”
Ash couldn’t stop the laugh that snorted out of him and tried unsuccessfully to turn it into a cough. She looked reproachfully up at him.
“Sorry. I get it. It’s your worst nightmare. I’m not laughing.”
“You’re laughing,” she said.
“OK, yes, but in my defense… It’s funny. Also, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“Not that big of a deal?!” She whacked angrily at his chest, but he refused to let go.
“Look, this Cooper guy is obviously an idiot. Why on earth would anyone propose to you at a baseball game? That is too much sensory input. You’d be all kinds of distracted and overwhelmed. And if he was hell-bent on making the most ill-timed proposal ever, why didn’t he speak up and tell you what he was doing?”
“He said all normal people would have gotten it,” said Harper quietly.
“Yeah, well, fuck that guy. Also, did he not get insurance on the ring? It’s obviously lost. You even have the proof of that on video. Just get it replaced.”
“You can do that?”
“Yes, of course. They offer it to you when you buy jewelry.”
“Oh. I guess I haven’t ever bought jewelry.”
“I’ll buy you some. And I’ll get insurance for when you lose it.”
“I don’t want to lose it! I want to keep it!”
“Sure,” said Ash, hugging her tighter. “Keep it. Lose it. Whatever. But any which way you slice it—you don’t owe this douchebag anything.”
“I feel bad that he spent twelve thousand dollars,” said Harper sadly.
Ash knew everyone’s budget was different, and it was the thought that counted, but he swore Harper was worth ten times that. He also couldn’t help wondering if Cooper was lying. Who spent money on a ring but didn’t get the insurance?
“If you feel bad about it, then we’ll just cut him a check, and we’ll never have to think about him again.”
“Ash,” she protested, “I know it’s what I asked for, but I feel bad. I can’t just have you give money to Cooper!”
“We have a deal, Smoak. You can’t weasel out of it now! You’ve been dating me for months and I will be paying off your ex. You’re just going to have to deal with it.”
Harper laughed. “Ash, you’re so…” Her head tilted, and Ash knew he was going to kiss her.
Something small and hard slammed into his legs, throwing him into Harper, and they both sprawled against the hood of the car parked at the curb. Ash flailed, trying to keep from crushing Harper.
“Olly!” a woman gasped. “Oh, I am so sorry!”
Ash looked up and saw someone with blue hair and realized that the woman must be Chloe, which meant the small thing wrapped around his legs must be his nephew. Ash braced himself against the car and managed to get one leg planted. Reaching down, he got an arm around Olly and freed himself from the toddler’s tentacle-like grasp.
