Page 77 of Emergency Exit
“I just don’t want them to make fun of me.”
“When do they make fun of you?”
“Um...” Ash tried to remember the last time and couldn’t come up with anything more recent than his twenties. In fact, Forest had said he hoped Olly would turn out like Ash at Thanksgiving. That was a pretty big compliment, particularly in the middle of a fight, which was usually when Forest said the worst stuff. Only Forest hadn’t done that. Had things really changed, and Ash hadn’t noticed?
“You know,” said Chloe, “it’s possible they would be dismissive of your training because the pattern in their minds is that you hobby-hop. It’s also possible that the idea of them making fun of you is the pattern inyourmind.”
Ash glared at her. She wasn’t supposed to be able to just read his mind like that.
“OK, fine, but how am I supposed to change that?”
“Attentiveness to your thoughts and direct actions. Meditation also helps.”
“I am not designed for meditation,” said Ash. The two minutes of meditation at the end of karate classes was his least favorite part.
Chloe laughed. “Everyone is designed for meditation. Or possibly none of us are. Depends on your point of view. It can be quite difficult.”
“It’s just sitting there!”
“You’re right. Sitting is very boring. You have to focus on something. Your body. Your breathing. Your thoughts. If you view meditation as an activity rather than a lack of activity, then you might find it gets more interesting.”
“I feel like you’re arguing with me, and I’m losing, but I can’t figure out how because you just agreed with me.”
“Forest says the same thing. But I think we’re simply havinga discussion in which I provide a perspective that sometimes makes you uncomfortable.”
Ash stared at Chloe and felt like he was seeing her for the first time. A fresh perspective, kindness, and peace. That’s what Chloe brought to the table, and that was precisely why Forest was in love with her. Ash was tied up in thinking his brother needed a better asset and what Forest needed was a better partner. Ash felt like an asshole. At least he hadn’t told Forest what he’d been thinking about Chloe.
Olly laughed a big belly chuckle as he scribbled over the drawing, and Ash couldn’t help but smile.
“Thanks for doing this. She’s wanted to meet Olly so badly. And I just... I want her to be able to be the kind of grandma she can be proud of. I know she can do it. It’s not like when we were kids.”
Chloe looked up at him with watery eyes and patted his arm. “That is so lovely that you want to give that to her.”
25
Ash
Tiramisu
They were eating at the Italian place around the corner from his condo because the documents from the Miller Project were strewn all over his dining room. He was one red string away from looking like a serial killer-obsessed weirdo. He was grateful that Romeo, recognizing the problem, had stepped in and made reservations. Ash didn’t mind bribing his way into tables, but he hated inconveniencing the owner of Alberto’s just because Ash couldn’t remember to make a reservation. And Harper deserved dinner that wasn’t Cup O’ Noodle, which was what he had in his cupboard.
“How did everything go today?” Harper asked.
“I made a lot of progress,” said Ash. “The research is compelling, but finding similar projects for comparables is proving challenging.”
Harper stared at him for a long second. “I meant with your mom.”
“Oh.” Ash shoved a piece of chicken across his plate. “Really great,” he said, then shook his head and confessed. “Not because of me, though. Chloe really made everything easy.” He looked up at her ruefully. “I think maybe I’ve been…”
Ash couldn’t find the words for the suspicion that he’d been wrong about Chloe.
“Kind of an asshole?” asked Harper.
“Well, I was going to say I misjudged her, but uh… OK.”
“Sorry,” said Harper, blushing.
“No, you’re probably right. But she’s so… I wouldn’t havethought she’d be somebody Forest would like. She’s so colorful and eccentric and weird.”
