Page 76 of Emergency Exit
Chloe looked shocked and worried. “What? Why?”
“Mom isn’t happy. Rowan and Forest aren’t happy. I don’tunderstand why we can’t get this right.”
“Oh,” said Chloe, and the tension dropped from her shoulders as she dismissed his concerns. “No, you’re not failing.”
“How would you know?” he demanded irritably. He didn’t have to listen to some demented holiday sprite about his own family.
“Because I know it is not your job to fixtheirrelationship. You cannot fail at a task that was never yours to begin with.”
She said it with such prosaic confidence that Ash didn’t know how to react, but he was annoyed that she was probably right.
“I still think there’s more I should be doing,” he said at last.
“Do you feel you are mistreating your brothers or mom?”
“Rowan paid off the house,” said Ash. “Until he mentioned it at Thanksgiving, I didn’t know that. I buy her whatever she wants, but it didn’t occur to me to put money into anything useful. Rowan makes the least of the three of us.”
“He’s doing fine,” said Chloe drily.
“Yes, but that’s not the point. Rowan spent years sending us money. He invested everything in Forest and me. He even tried to repay me after I gave him money for his business. No wonder they’re mad at her. But the second I think that is the second I feel like I’m betraying Mom.”
“I can’t speak for Rowan, but Forest isn’t mad at her,” said Chloe. “Not like that. Not in theyou-owe-mesense. He’s angry about the past, and he’s angry that she can’t acknowledge the past. But trust me, it’s not about money.”
“I still didn’t ask,” said Ash. “I’m scared of asking about stuff like that because I know it will make me think less of Mom. But also... it never occurred to me. There’s something wrong with that.” He looked up at Chloe and wondered what the hell he was thinking to tell her all that. Her Mr. Rogers vibe made her seem so trustworthy and non-judgmental.
“It’s a habit of the mind,” said Chloe with a shrug. “You’reused to having Rowan and Forest take care of you.”
It was the truth. Ash knew it, and it still stung. His first instinct was to point out that Forest had left home at eighteen and Rowan before that. Ash had spent a good chunk of his childhood caring for himself and their mother. But he chewed on the thought.
“And then kick!” crowed Olly, enthusiastically whacking at the paper.
Rose laughed. “OK, then we’ll make him kick!” Ash watched as she helped Olly make stick figures on the paper.
“Does he like kicking?” asked Ash. “Maybe I could take him to karate with me.”
“Oh, are you a student of karate?”
Ash froze. “Uh… Well. Yeah? Promise you won’t tell my brothers?” he asked nervously.
“What’s wrong with karate?” Chloe looked startled. “Don’t they like martial arts?”
“Well, they would probably say it was one of my hobbies of the month, and I don’t want to get crap for it.”
“Do you have a lot of hobbies?” asked Chloe, looking puzzled.
“No, what I have is ADHD. One of the common characteristics is to get hyper-fixated on things. And because of that, I probably did hobby-hop as a kid.”
“Ah,” said Chloe, nodding. “And now you have channeled that into your work. How wonderful that you have found your strength.”
Ash blinked that she had spotted that so fast.
“Well, I also found medication,” said Ash. “And now I take karate because it helps me get grounded in my body.”
“Yes! Exactly! It forces you to exist in the moment.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s… Do you take karate?”
“No, I trained in kung fu. I think martial arts are wonderful. Why don’t you think your brothers would support yourtraining?”
