Page 92 of Emergency Exit
Oh God.
Ash couldn’t help echoing Forest’s sentiments but waited while Rowan slow-thumbed through his subsequent text.
Mom went to Mexico with Carol. You remember the crazy one that dyes her poodle? Only now Mom’s stuck in Mexico with an expired passport.
Ash felt like he couldn’t type fast enough. They were going to think he’d screwed up.
No, I helped her renew her passport. Her passport is current!
It is. But apparently, they boated in with a friend of Carol’s and then were flying back to Palm Springs. And it turns out that she grabbed the wrong passport, and her cellphone charger got eaten by (checks notes) a flamingo.
Chloe just fell off the couch because she snort-laughed too hard.
Anyway, I have now gone to her house, gotten her current passport, and I am flying down to meet her and get her back to the States before she gets recruited into a drug cartel or something.
I have no words for this.
Forest sounded disapproving even in that short message.
Oh, whatever. Like I didn’t have to come get you out of that jail in Marrakesh. Mom hasn’t even been arrested, and the passports look identical. It was an easy mistake.
And the flamingo?
Ash didn’t want to type it in, but he did anyway.
Her cell phone charger has a shrimp on it. It’s this cute little anime shrimp thing that goes over the head of the charging wire.
Oh. Well, that actually makes sense. I mean, for us.
Mom’s not crazy. Rowan, do you need anything?
No, I’m good. I’m hitching a ride with a friend. We’ll be back in time for New Year’s at your place. Mom was really worried she was going to miss it.
She’s stuck in Mexico, and she’s worried about a party?!!
Ash wanted to respond to Forest, but he seethed, trying to find a grown-up way to do it. Fortunately, Rowan responded before he did.
She wants to see us, you dipshit. This party is her opportunity to do that.
Ash let out a frustrated breath. Yes, why couldn’t Forest see that?
Chloe just said the same thing. I forgot I was something to look forward to.
Well, I’m not looking forward to it right this second.
Ash felt both better and worse that he’d hit send on that one.
That’s because I’m a dipshit.
Ash reluctantly laughed but cringed as he saw Forest was typing another message.
OK, well, call us if you need anything. I mean, call Vivian if you need lawyers. But between Ash and we can probably bribe a cartel or a border guard or whoever.
Ash let out his breath. That was actually helpful advice from Forest. Tossing money at a problem usually made it go away.
Pretty sure I’ve got like a million in cash in my scary closet.
Ash wanted to sound useful.
