Page 56 of The Grosvenor's Ghost
“So awks, imagining being them three,” she whispers, wiping her hands on a tea towel.
“Imagine if Digby turned up, that’s what it’d be like.”
She smiles. “Me and you haven’t slept together, though.”
And then we both say ‘yet’ inside our heads.
Phoebe walks back into the dining room while I study the both of them. They’re both family, both as important as each other. One was engaged to a prince, one birthed a monarch. There’s no higher power. Although, it doesn’t surprise me that Joanne is the one to say goodbye first and leave. In her mind, Mia will always be more important. Some could argue that she is.
Sebastian nods at Mia as he closes the door after Joanne but she doesn’t smile at him or anything. She looks deflated, like she knows she should’ve been the one to leave but she didn’t because when has she ever? If she truly, whole heartedly, believed she should’ve been the one to leave, I don’t think she would’ve slept with Sebastian in the first place.
Is it sick that I want to know which one he loved more? Would he go back to Joanne if she let him? Would he marry Mia? Doubt it, to be honest. She’s already cracked on with Henry Finsbury. Still messed up. He was Theo’s best mate. But the more I stare at Mia, the more I don’t actually hate her the way you’d think I would. I mean, who am I to hate when you’ve seen what grief done to me?
I’ll never be in a place to judge anyone, I don’t think.
There is a strange feeling that settles over everyone after all the cleaning up has been done. We all know why we’re here. Theo died and that’s the only reason why we all had lunch together today.
It sinks in for everyone and they all go their separate ways. The parents go into the living room, Ev dashes upstairs, Mia and Sebastian go into the library, followed by Phoebe very swiftly after.
When I sit down in there, it’s like that day in Oxford all over again. The four of us, staring at each other, breaths held, hoping no one brings anything up.
“Doesn’t this just remind you guys of when Arthur and I caught you shagging in the kitchen that one time?” Phoebe smiles, casting glances to all of us.
“Really, Phoebe?” Sebastian groans.
“Sorry,” she hangs her head. “The silence was killing me.”
“Let’s play a game!” Mia claps, ignoring her. “You have Monopoly, right?” She looks at me.
“No,” Seb and I say at the same time.
“What?” She pulls back, looks appalled.
“It’s like, against the law in their family,” Phoebe rolls her eyes.
“Really?” Mia can’t believe it. “I thought that was just some silly inside joke or something. You guys really can’t play Monopoly?”
“Nope,” I shake my head. “And besides, If I see those twatting colourful notes one more time, I’ll shoot myself. Spent enough time trying to play that bastard game on my own in Scotland.”
“Oh,” Mia frowns, sitting back down. “Well, why don’t you tell us what Scotland was like, then?”
I sigh. “Feel like I’m in group therapy again.”
Phoebe stands up, claps. “Welcome, Arthur!”
“How much has she had to drink?” Sebastian leans back against the sofa.
“I’m actually stone cold sober,” Phoebs pouts, scratching the back of her head and fuck me have I missed her.
Missed her mood swings.
Sounds crazy but I did.
I used to love when she’d randomly ramble, going a hundred miles an hour, unable to shut up, bouncing off the walls like she was drunk or actually on something. I’d always ask what had gotten into her and she’d always reply with, ‘nothing, I’m just in a mood’ and then an hour later, she’d be mute, back to me, tucked up in bed.
She was a mix of what everyone wants. A ball of sunshine, a cloud of thunder, she was unpredictable in the best fucking way. I don’t want to be with someone who is the same all the time, how boring? I mean, sometimes it did feel like walking on eggshells around her but it was fun. We had fun together.
Maybe it’s my inherent tendency to constantly do bad things to myself but testing the waters with her, pushing andprodding her, was part of it. I sometimes remember thinking at times that I was fighting with her or joking with her the same way I would with Connie. But I loved her at the same time. She was my best friend as well as my girlfriend and how many people can say they’ve experienced that?
