Page 51 of The Grosvenor's Ghost
“Alright, Phoebs.” He nods, blinks, takes a deep breath.
I think he’s going to leave but he doesn’t. Instead, he comes over to me, grabs my face in one hand and gives me another kiss and I fucking hate him for it. I wished he’d stop stealing kisses because I can’t be with him but the more I find myself alone with him and the more his lips seem to gravitate towards mine, the more I’m going to ignore everything and throw myself at his feet again.
Love is stronger than anything. Stronger than reality, stronger than freedom, stronger than wealth and power and health. Everyone wants to be loved in some capacity. Even the people you think don’t. They want it more than anyone else. It’s something about knowing that out of the eight billion people put onto this earth, someone, somewhere found you. Two out of eight billion? That’s special. I’m not even talking solely about romantic love. Best friends, parents, siblings. There’s a love for everyone.
When Arthur pulls back, I shiver. He walks out of the room, cheeks red and head hanging.
He doesn’t regret it but he’s also not the type to pine after girls already in relationships. Doesn’t want to turn out like Sebastian. One kiss is fine. Two kisses border on a few whispers. Three? That’s inching into scandal territory.
Two is okay.
Two is completely fine considering he has almost three years worth of kisses to give me.
Chapter Thirteen
Lady Phoebe
“How did seeing Arthur make you feel?” Dr.Kane asks me.
“It was weird. Kind of felt as if I was seeing someone who I was told was dead standing in front of me.”
“You’ve been mourning him?”
I shrug, head down. “In a way—but in my own way. I don’t think anyone else felt like that but I did. I felt like I was stood at his graveside while everyone else was behind me, waiting to go.”
“That’s interesting.”
“How so?”
“Do you not think that Arthur’s friends and family also felt like that?”
“I think I would’ve known if they did.”
“In what way?”
I swallow, lick my lips, pick at my thumbnail.
“If they felt the same as me, I don’t think I would’ve felt so alone.”
“And did you? Feel alone, that is.”
I laugh. “Are you joking?” He looks at me with his eyebrow raised, expectant. “Of course I did. I still feel alone now.”
“Why?”
This is one of those sessions where I’m reminded why I hated therapy so much. Why? Is he being fucking serious right now? My sister left, Arthur's back but I can’t have him. My friends are there, sure, they’ve always been there but I just can’t help lift this elephant off my chest. It’s suffocating. I’m not alone, literally, physically. But I’m lonely. Deep down, inside of me, I’m still wandering this forest all by myself, looking for a wayout. Makes me feel selfish—I’m always feeling selfish for how I feel and I don’t understand why—because I have friends, I have a family, I have a boyfriend. That’s more than what most people get in their entire lifetimes.
It’s weird because I wish I didn’t feel like this but at the same time, how else would I feel? I can’t imagine not feeling any other way. Part of me thinks I’m scared of feeling something different.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, voice low.
“Okay,” Dr.Kane nods, crosses his legs. “Let’s move onto something else—what are you doing tonight?”
“Why?” I smile. “Do you want to take me on a date?”
It’s Valentine’s Day today.
“No,” he laughs awkwardly. “Do you have plans? Something to take your mind off everything.”
