Page 240 of Better When Shared
My stomach dropped, guilt washing over me in a cold wave. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. I couldn’t hurt either one of them like this.
“Fuck,” I whispered, scrambling off Ryker’s lap, stomach churning with guilt. “I fucked up. I always fuck up with you two.”
Ryker’s hand shot out, catching my chin gently but firmly, forcing me to meet his eyes. “You didn’t fuck anything up,” he said, his voice calm and certain. “I’ve got this handled.”
He stood, helping me to my feet with a steadying hand. Then, to my complete surprise, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Thank you for the kiss,” he said, his voice warm. “That was sexy as hell. I’ll talk to him.”
Before I could respond, he was walking past me, following Kiaan, who had already bolted outside.
Chapter 7
Ryker
My lips were still tingling from Skylar’s kiss, as I followed Kiaan out the door. He moved fast, shoulders rigid with hurt, heading around the side of the cabin, toward the trees at the edge of the property. I wanted to call out to him, but what the hell would I say? Sorry you caught me making out with the woman we’re both into?
Sorry I’d gotten hard thinking about both of you while stuck in that bathroom last night? He might not have known that part. I quickened my pace, pulse hammering in my throat.
“Kiaan, wait.” My voice came out rougher than I intended.
He didn’t slow down, just raised a hand dismissively without turning. “It’s fine. Go back to her.”
Something in his tone—the raw hurt beneath the practiced indifference—pushed me forward. I caught up to him in six long strides, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. His eyes were bright with unshed tears, the sight hitting me like a punch to the sternum.
“It’s not what you think,” I said, immediately realizing how pathetic that sounded.
Kiaan laughed, a sharp, brittle sound that held no humor. “Really? Because it looked like you won, firefighter. Congratulations.”
“I don’t want this to be a fucking competition.”
“What other option is there?” He tried to pull away, but I tightened my grip on his shoulder. “Let me go, Ryker.”
Instead, I backed him up against the side of Skylar’s cabin, my forearm pressing against his chest. Not hard enough to hurt, just enough to keep him there. Up close, I could see the faint stubble along his jaw, smell the expensive cologne that clung to his skin, feel the heat of him even through his clothes.
“We need to talk about this,” I insisted. “I just need you to stop running for a minute.”
“What’s there to talk about? You were practically fucking her in the bathroom.” His voice cracked on the last word, the carefully constructed arrogance slipping. “It’s fine. I get it. You’re thebetter man. The steady, reliable one who fixes things and builds shelves and knows how to be there for people.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh yeah? What is it like, then?”
I stared at him, really stared, seeing past the practiced smirk to the vulnerability beneath. This was Kiaan—the same Kiaan who’d stayed up all night on voice chat when my mom died, telling me ridiculous stories about his college adventures to keep me from spiraling. The same Kiaan who’d sent me a custom-built gaming PC when mine had died last year, brushing it off as “just some extra parts I had lying around” even though we both knew that was bullshit.
The same Kiaan who’d made me laugh when nothing else could, who’d challenged me to be better in every raid, who’d become as essential to my life as breathing without either of us realizing it.
“No one’s the better man,” I said, softening my hold but not backing away. “This isn’t about winning or losing.”
“Then what is it about?” he demanded, eyes flashing with anger, hurt, and something else—something that made my skin prickle with awareness.
Words failed me, as they so often did. So I did what firefighters are trained to do—acted instead. I grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head against the rough cedar siding, my bodypressing against his, close enough to feel his heart hammering against my chest.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he gasped, but he didn’t struggle, didn’t try to break free.
I wasn’t sure what I was doing, only that I couldn’t stand seeing that pain in his eyes, couldn’t bear the thought that I’d caused it. Kiaan’s breath came fast and shallow, his eyes locked on mine with an intensity that burned.
“It’s not about winning,” I repeated, frustration building in my chest. “Because I don’t want you out of the equation. I want both of you.”
