Page 66 of Better When Shared
"Sorry," Julian mumbled, his voice strained. "Just heading to the beach."
Lila's face flushed crimson, but her smile remained unrepentant. "No problem. We're just... relaxing."
The subtle shift of water betrayed movement as the men moved their arms, and Lila let out a soft whimper. Connor cleared his throat.
“The beach is beautiful this time of day," he offered, voice slightly rougher than it had been during our introduction. “The path down the cliff is just past the fire pit."
Nisha nodded, her cheeks pink as she tugged at both Julian and me. "We'll let you get back to... relaxing."
As we descended the wooden stairs to the sloping lawn, I caught a burst of smothered laughter behind us, followed by Nick's hushed voice saying something that made the others dissolve into fresh hysterics. Julian's shoulders remained rigid as he led the way across the grass toward a winding path that disappeared over the edge of the cliff.
"So," I said, unable to bear the silence any longer. "They seem friendly."
Julian's laugh was short, almost bitter. "You could say that."
We reached the path, a sturdy wooden staircase that zigzagged down the face of the cliff. Julian took the steps with determined purpose, leaving Nisha and me to follow. The wind grew stronger as we descended, carrying the scent of salt and seaweed. Gulls wheeled overhead, their cries punctuating the steady rhythm of waves crashing against the shore below.
By the time we reached the beach, my nerves were wound tight as piano wire. Julian strode several paces ahead, hands jammed in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the wind. Nisha walked beside me, her smaller hand finding mine, squeezing in silent reassurance.
The beach stretched before us, empty despite the beautiful weather, but maybe that was how the beach was here. Julian stopped at a large driftwood log, weathered silver by salt and sun, and turned to face us. His expression was unreadable, making my heart clench with uncertainty.
Nisha, however, had apparently reached her limit.
"This is ridiculous," she announced, planting herself between us, cheeks flushed with more than just the wind. "Do you know what we just saw up there?"
Julian's jaw tightened. "Nish, don't—"
"A throuple," she continued, ignoring him. "A functional, happy, completely unashamed throuple who aren't hiding what theyfeel for each other. Who aren't pretending it's just some casual thing. They're in love—all three of them—and they own it."
My breath caught in my throat as her words hung in the salty air between us. Julian's eyes found mine before darting away, something vulnerable flashing across his face.
"And here we are," Nisha said, gesturing between us, "three people who clearly love each other, pretending this is just some fun thing on the side. Some torrid affair with occasional visits and video calls that we have to hide from my friends." Her voice softened, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Why are we still playing this game? Why hide it from the one group of people who would understand?"
Julian looked stricken. "Nisha, we talked about this—"
"No, you talked about this," she cut in, turning to him. "You decided that Caleb might disappear again if we pushed too hard. You decided we should keep things casual because you're terrified of losing him. But have you ever asked him what he wants?"
My heart stopped, then slammed against my ribs. "Is that true?" I asked Julian. "You think I'll disappear again?"
The pain in his eyes when he finally met my gaze made my chest ache. "You did before. For seven years."
The weight of that admission, of the hurt I'd caused him, almost brought me to my knees. I stepped forward, closing the distance between us, taking his face between my hands before he could retreat.
"Julian," I whispered, my voice breaking on his name. "I didn't leave because I didn't care enough. I left because I cared too much."
Confusion clouded his features. "What are you saying?"
"I was in love with you," I confessed, the words I'd held back for nearly a decade spilling out. “I am in love with you. Since sophomore year, at least. Everything we did—the threesomes, the shared conquests—it was all just excuses to be close to you without admitting how I felt. And when graduation came, I knew I couldn't keep living that half-life. Pretending to just be your friend while dying inside every time you looked at someone else."
Julian's eyes widened, hands coming up to grip my wrists. "You never said anything."
"How could I? You were straight, talking about finding a woman to settle down with." I laughed, the sound ragged with emotion. “And Tristan wanted me back in the UK, working for the family business. It was all too—”
“Impossible,” Julian whispered.
"Yes. And then Nisha found me in that yoga class, and suddenly there you were, looking at me the way I'd always wanted. Touching me like you'd been wanting it too. It was like stepping into an alternate universe where my deepest wish had somehow come true."
Nisha moved closer, her arms circling both our waists. "And now?" she asked. "What do you want now, Caleb? Is it still impossible?"
