Page 59 of Tormented Diamonds
“I’ve loved her from the moment I saw her.”
“Why?” she asks. I’m taken aback by the question. Mainly because no one has ever asked it. “Is it because of her resemblance to Victoria?”
I’m so fucking tired of hearing that.
“I shouldn’t dignify that with an answer,” I say, storming to the wet bar because I need to douse all this “bared soul” shit in something eighty-proof. “However, I want it known, that narrative is not only inaccurate, but it also pisses me off. Blonde hair and blue eyes are DNA traits, not fetishes, Sera.”
“My mistake.”
“Yes, it is.” I fill my glass with enough whiskey to dilute the destruction pumping through my veins. “I fell in love with Becca because she’s smart, witty, stubborn, and not afraid to call me out when I’m being a total dick. That’s not something many…” I stop as a wide smile spreads across her face. “What the hell’s so funny?”
“Nothing. You’re just validating my theory of why I think you’re shutting her out. Want to hear it?”
“No.”
Apparently, it was a rhetoricalquestion.
“I think her accident made you realize how much you’ve lowered your walls. Loving Becca made you vulnerable, and you got scared because it reminded you that level of vulnerability has the power to break you.”
I drink while Sera waits in silence, her last words hanging in the air like a bad omen. I want to tell her she’s wrong. That her fatalistic hero complex hypothesis is a crock of shit.
But it’d be a lie.
She pushes to her feet with a sigh. “I know I’m right because I’m watching it all on replay. Mom’s death changed you, and not for the better. You blamed yourself for something a thirteen-year-old boy had no control over, and here you are at thirty-five doing the same thing.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “No control? If it wasn’t for me, Becca wouldn’t even be in this mess, much less hunted like fucking prey. She tried to keep things professional, and I wouldn’t listen, because Gianni Marchesi has to always get his way.” I swing the glass hard enough for liquid to slosh over the rim. “Just like when I was thirteen.”
I’m the common denominator here, the selfish bastard who takes what he wants and lets others pay the price.
I lift the glass again only for Sera to snatch it from my hand and set it on the bar. “Getting plastered won’t solve anything.”
“How do you know? Have you tried it lately?”
She groans. “I know Becca’s accident brought up some deep, unresolved feelings, but avoiding her won’t make them go away. You need to talk to her before you push so hard that she doesn’t come back.”
The finality in her warning hits in a place I don’t want to acknowledge. She’s right. I’m avoiding Becca because she’s too in tune with the parts I keep hidden. I don’t want to hurt her, but the accident opened old wounds. I need time to regroup and shove this backinside the box it escaped from.
“I’ll think about it.” It’s the best offer she’s going to get. “Did you seriously come all the way from Newark to play marriage counselor?”
“No, I came to check on my favorite sister-in-law.”
“She’s your only sister-in-law,” I mutter.
She grins. “That’s why she’s my favorite.”
She’s so ridiculous I can’t help but laugh.Fuck, I’ve missed her.“You know I have a lot of spare rooms,” I say before I can stop myself. “Why don’t you stay a while and?—”
“Gianni…” Her smile fades, and she stares at her feet. “I can’t. Sal?—”
“Fuck thatcoglione. I can have that farce of a union annulled before dawn.”
She lifts her chin, those dark eyes throwing arrows at me. “You’ll do no such thing. You have your role in this family, and I have mine. Besides, I have a comfortable life. Sal may be an insufferable jackass, but he takes care of me. What more could I want?”
“Do you love him?” I ask throwing her challenge back at her.
Her lips flatten in a strained smile. “Don’t be a stranger, big brother.”
Her calm acceptance makes the hate I carry for my father even heavier.
