Page 77 of Indecently Employed
“No,” Charlotte said, nearly cutting him off. “She only ever mentioned that the less said about her family, the better.”
Ajax chortled at that, only to be met with hard looks from both Jutton and Susanna. He gave his wife an apologetic smile and slid his arm around her shoulders.
“The point remains that Charlotte has not agreed to go with you. Nor have I agreed to allow it,” he said.
Charlotte’s head snapped back to him, a puzzling expression on her face. Ajax could hear Jutton sputtering something about decency, but Susanna had already moved to soothe the man. Ajax, on the other hand, didn’t care if he went and jumped in the lake or fell to the floor in a fit of apoplexy.
“Now, sir, you must have a care,” Susanna said, with all the patience of a woman who’d spent her entire adult life persuading young people to heed her wisdom, “for Charlotte has been through quite a lot these past months. What my husband means to say is, since we were not aware of your intention to come, she hasn’t considered the possibility. Please, allow us some time. If you will not dine, perhaps you would be so kind as to give her until tomorrow to weigh the idea.”
Jutton sniffed, then brushed imaginary dirt from his front. “So be it. I shall bid you good day, ma’am.” He offered Susanna a disinterested bow, then a hard look for Ajax before a footman ushered him from the room.
The door had only been closed but a moment when Charlotte came for him, her fists clenched at her sides as she stormed toward him in a righteous fury.
“Why was he here? Why has he come to take me away?” Her cheeks flamed, and for the first time Ajax saw her emotions rise to the surface, the hurt plain in her eyes. “Answer me!”
Ajax swallowed, his heart heavy. “I wrote him.”
Her mouth fell open. “Youwrotehim?”
“I did,” he said, sadness settling on him like a suffocating coat.
She stared at him, her lower lip quivering. Ajax suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to hold her, to offer her his affection, hisregret and remorse, his apologies. But he found himself frozen, unable to coax his feet to movement.
And then it was too late. Charlotte spun on her heel and bolted from the room.
Ajax hissed a curse, and his body finally moved, back toward the sideboard and the decanter of liquor upon it. It was all true. He was a miserable wretch, a terrible father, and he never should have—
“Ajax,” Susanna warned as she snatched the empty tumbler from his hand. “Go after her.”
He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, to see the disappointment in her eyes. So he stood there, looking at the floor with his heart pounding in his ears, the little voice inside his head whispering terrible, cruel things with a newfound vigor, after having been quelled into silence for so long.
“Ajax,” she said again, softer this time. With a gentle hand on his shoulder, she pulled him to her, burying her face in his neck. “Don’t leave her to bear her sorrow alone. Find her and apologize.”
She pushed back and looked up at him. Her face was guileless, with nary a shred of distaste or judgment to be found. No, her brown eyes were beautiful and kind, her smile tinged with sadness. A lump formed in his throat. She loved him. And by God, he loved her.
“But she’s right. It’s my fault. I never thought… never anticipated…” Ajax reached for her shoulders and pulled her back into him, crushing her against his chest with one hand on her head, smoothing her loosely plaited hair. The emotions that weighed on him now were more than he could bear; he felt them in his throat, choking him. He blinked back tears.
“I’ve been so, so happy. With you, with Charlotte.” He swallowed, then pressed on. “Susanna, I told you. There’s norighting this situation—what I did to Nancy, what I’ve done to Charlotte, how I abandoned them both, and I—”
“Hush now,” she whispered against his chest, her hands stroking his back. “Tell her everything, and tell her you will support her choice, whatever it may be. Explain yourself, but…” She stood back and locked her eyes on his. “Above all else, tell her how much you care for her. She needs it, desperately.”
“But what if she wants to leave?” he barely managed to say, his voice hoarse.
Susanna smiled sadly. “Then you let her go.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Charlotte Sedley sat onher heels, arms crossed over her knees, watching her tears fall upon the bare wooden floorboards. She focused all her senses upon it: how hot they felt spilling down her cheek, how the wood darkened on contact. The way the light filtered in around the edges of the rough wooden door, illuminating the dust motes that floated about.
The old dovecote was empty. It had been ages—decades, at least, and perhaps even centuries—since any avian creatures had called this building home. Gideon had shown it to her during her first week at Gallox Castle, smiling as he explained how they only used it for storage these days. Indeed, there were tall stacks of crates in the center, covered by rough lengths of cloth. She hadn’t bothered poking about them much, since they fell under Gideon’s purview, and she liked him. He was kind.
Unlike her father.
She squeezed her eyes shut, bringing forth two final drops. Only now she’d adjusted her position to something slightly more comfortable, and they fell upon her black riding habit instead ofthe floor. She sniffed. It was embarrassing to lose control of her emotions so easily, as if she were still a child.
Her heart ached at the memory of her mother, who had soothed her when she was young and had scraped her knee while acting silly, or burnt her finger poking at something on the stove that she ought to have left well enough alone. More tears threatened. She swallowed as she fought them back.
It seemed she still hadn’t learned that lesson, to leave alone things that were none of her business. She was still prying and poking about in corners she ought not to be, turning up histories and ancestors that irritated her father to no end. Sitting back down on the floor, she sniffed again, then removed the watch fob from around her neck. With deft fingers, she set it to spinning on its hinge, a trick she had spent many an idle hour perfecting. She watched it whirl about its rotational axis, and focused on calming herself down.
