Page 52 of Unforeseen Affairs
In the space of the last four hours, Colin had not only accompanied a young lady to another absurd spirit circle underfalse pretenses, caused an appalling commotion that got them thrown out of said circle, and put them in position to have their names blackened in numerous social circles in the coming weeks… but then!Thenhe’d gone and, unable to rein in his baser urges, taken advantage of said young lady in a dark alley behind some wretched stable.
Cunt and gunpowder.
He was a louse; there was no denying it. And now he was accompanying her to her family home as if nothing out of the ordinary had just transpired.
For some blasted reason he’d been the one to suggest it; his vicious conscience was no doubt wanting to punish him, to torture him by bringing him face-to-face with those who cared most for Miss Sedley. Those who would do him grievous harm if only they knew how horribly he’d handled her. How his hands, so eager to pull her closer, had slid up her back, her sides, to her…
He swallowed.
The hack came to a stop, and he leaped out as though it were on fire.
It was late now, far too late for a young lady of Miss Sedley’s position to be out unchaperoned. Colin frowned. Just what had she said to her family earlier that day, to justify her anticipated late return? He felt too defeated to ask.
Colin offered her his hand, bracing himself as she disembarked. Her hold was gentle, but the meaning of the gentle press of her fingers was clear—she would not easily forget what had transpired between them in the alley.
He avoided her gaze, and prayed that his guilt would soon settle, and eventually simmer away into nothing.
“Thank you,” she said in that hollow, passionless tone that felt so uniquely her.
When had he begun to track the idiosyncrasies of her behavior?
“You may deposit me here. I am quite at ease—”
“No,” he said, ignoring the tingling sensation that had begun to play about the top of his scalp. Christ, how he hated it. “I agreed to take you home. It’s only proper to see you safely all the way.”
“Very well.”
He sensed a slight hesitation on her part—perhaps born from wondering whether he meant to provide her family with all the details of their sorry and short-lived association—but at the moment Colin was only concerned with doing the last honorable thing he could. Because the one thing that would be necessary in order for him to truly be content to live with his actions, of which he would never have thought himself capable, was out of the question.
For he was far too young to marry.
He hadn’t even made post captain yet.
If I ever make it, he glumly corrected himself.
Despite the lateness of the hour upon their arrival, the house was lit, and when they were admitted inside by the butler the sounds of conversation and laughter spilled out into the hall, increasing in volume as they drew near.
And,he thought to himself as he followed the butler toward the voices,there’s the matter of Alice. Whom hedid, in fact, intend to marry. She was one of the main reasons for this entire undertaking, for only the restoration of her brother’s reputation would allow them to one day be together.
His nerves now completely shot, he glanced to his side.
Miss Sedley appeared serene and ethereal in the soft, warm lamplight. Her face was exquisite in its structure, distinguished and dramatic. She’d a richness about herself that was not for thefaint of heart. She really was altogether quite lovely, and he’d already said as much to her.
He felt a sudden pang of emotion, one he could not entirely wrap his head around.
Then the door to a tidy, tasteful drawing room was flung open, and Colin was out of time to ruminate. The room was set up, oddly enough, with a small dining table laid out with dinner, where a handsome woman and an older man were seated across from each other. The man looked very much as if Colin had met him before, but he couldn’t quite place him.
“Charlotte?”
The familiar-looking man, with a tidy mustache and an admirably thick head of hair that was closer to gray than its original dark brown, was clearly perplexed.
“Have you decided to join us after all? But you were already abed? So what ho, why the get-up?” He stood, wearing his height as easily as he did his fashionable waistcoat. “Powder blue? I didn’t even know youpossesseda gown in that color, surely—” Suddenly he noted Sir Colin, and his expression tightened. “What’s all this, then?”
The man turned to the lady behind him, who was still seated. She wore a loose tea gown, with her dark hair pinned in a soft, informal style. Surprise was evident on her face as well.
Colin had rarely dined with his parents over the past year he had spent ashore. On occasion he would sup with his mother, but more often than not he ate at the Rag, despite the mean fare, and despite the fact that his father did the same—they did their best to avoid one another there, after all. He’d sat for a meal with his father exactly once since he’d been on half-pay.
Colin felt a sudden, intense embarrassment at trespassing on this intimate familial setting. But he did his best to maintain his composure.
