Page 75 of Unforeseen Affairs
Not because she was pretty, not because she was understanding. Not because she was brave, or curious. Not because she’d handled him with a gentleness he could hardly fathom, when she’d removed his shoes and hung up his jacket. Charlotte Sedley was all those things, certainly, but in that moment Colin could not single out one particular appealing physical trait, nor one endearing aspect of her character.
It was just that she was Charlotte, and he could think of no young woman more desirable than her. He knew it with a certainty he’d never felt before.
Perhaps it was a trick of the low light, or perhaps he’d simply imagined it, but her cheeks appeared to flush under his intense regard.
When she spoke, her voice was rough.
“I have not forgotten.”
Her words hung in the air between them, and for a minute neither spoke. After a time, Miss Sedley settled back down as if she meant to sleep.
“Er—should I turn the lamp down?” Colin asked.
“This is silly,” she said instead of answering. “You’re unwell; you ought to sleep. The proprietor thinks us married. Who is going to know?”
“I cannot.” Colin folded his arms against his chest.
“Why?”
Colin groaned. “You know as well as I, it would not behoove us to engage in something so… trying.”
She didn’t respond, and he prayed that would be the end of it. But it wasn’t.
“Is my company really so… trying?”
“No! Not in that manner, Miss Sedley, I…” Colin spluttered. He’d hurt her. “Charlotte. I would…” He paused. Baring himself any more than he already had at this juncture could be unwise. “There is no one I would rather accompany to Manchester in a slapdash attempt to ruin a huckster’s reputation than you.”
“I would say the same,” she said.
He could hear her smile. A strange little hiccup of hope lifted his spirits. It so startled him that he stood up.
“Please, Colin.”
He went to the lamp and turned it down.
“Please rest.”
Suppressing a groan, he placed a hand upon his forehead. He hoped that in the dark she couldn’t see the battle he was fighting, the strain that must be evident on his face.
“If you do not lie down, I will worry. And then I shall not sleep either.”
He was still tired. Exhausted, even.
Just what was he afraid of? Losing his senses with a woman who’d thoroughly enchanted him? Or was it the chance that she would not have him? No, she desired him, of that he was certain. Perhaps he feared that she did not want him beyond satisfying her physical needs? That she would welcome his advances in this small bed, but reject anything beyond that?
And what if he were to get his child on her? He would sooner maroon himself on a deserted island than so publicly and appallingly dishonor her.
No,he vowed silently. He couldn’t allow that to happen. He had to keep control.
“Colin.” She sounded so certain, so calm. “Please.”
Unable to debate with himself any longer, he sat down on the empty side of the bed and began tugging off his socks.
“I promise—” he began in a choked voice.
“Don’t,” she said curtly. “Just rest.”
He swallowed all the assurances he wanted to make to her. At least he was still half-dressed, even as he removed his garters. He raised his hand to the placket of his shirt, then decided against taking it off. He’d already slept in it; it would be hopelessly wrinkled tomorrow anyway.
