Page 127 of Take the Lead
“Ay, mija.” Benita pressed a hand to Gina’s cheek. “All this time, you’ve been carrying this around? The idea that a man will get in the way of your career?”
“It’s what happened. You would have had a great singing career if not for Papi. And then he left.”
“You can’t know that. Success is a fickle thing, and the entertainment industry isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Don’t forget, I agreed to give it up. He didn’t force me.”
“Have you ever regretted it?” Even asking, Gina felt small and young. It was something she’d wondered forever, and part of her had always wanted to build her career higher and stronger so her mother’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain.
Benita shook her head. “Not at all. My family is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. Success isn’t everything, mija.”
Gina chewed that over. “I still want it, though. Is that bad?”
“Not at all. You’re allowed to want what you want. And you’re allowed to wantallof it, even the stuff you think you shouldn’t want, or can’t have.”
Her mother pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear, “He’s not your father, Gina. Not all men leave. And even if he does, you’ll survive.” She got to her feet and tapped Araceli on the shoulder. “Come help me with dinner.”
Before Araceli left the room, she stopped in the doorway. “How did the audition go?”
“Hmm?” Lost in her musings, Gina had forgotten all about it. “Oh, it went well. They offered me the lead role.”
Celi gave her a thumbs-up. “Rock on.”
Thirty-Four
On his first day back filmingLiving Wild,Stone managed to smash his thumb in the door of his room at the Glacier Valley Inn. After his fingernail started turning black, they had to stage a similar event at Nielson HQ to explain it. That same day, he fell over the side of the boat—notstaged—and was knocked out with a nasty sinus infection for a week.
Sliding out of bed, Stone stumbled into the bathroom. His fever had finally abated, but he still felt like hell. He took a piss and splashed cold water on his face, which wasn’t the best idea. Shivering from the chill, he tottered back to bed and rolled up in the blankets like a burrito.
Horrible as he felt, he was glad he’d gotten sick, because he had no fucking desire to return toLiving Wild.He’d never wanted to do this stupid show in the first place. But, like always, his family had needed him and he’d set aside his own desires to help them.
At the time, Stone hadn’t expected it to last. It was a dumb idea. Who’d want to watch a bunch of yahoos with silly names living in the woods? He figured he’d be back to his old life in Juneau within a year.
Inexplicably, the show had been an instant hit, and their contracts were extended.
After the fifth season, though, his current contract would be up. He just had to finish filming this one, and then get through one more…
No. He couldn’t do it.
Stone’s stomach twisted in knots, shying away from the idea of even one more episode, let alone a whole other season. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the inn’s white popcorn ceiling, lit only by the thin sunlight seeping around the corners of the shades. The bed was nowhere near as comfortable as the one he’d slept on in LA, and nothing compared to Gina’s mattress—with her cuddled against him, her cold toes pressed to his calf.
Missing her left a physical ache in his chest. He loved her. He could freely admit that here, far from the moments they’d shared in Los Angeles and even farther from her home in New York City. She was probably still there, making enormous strides in her career.
Stone dragged his laptop onto the bed with him and flipped it open. In his fever-induced delirium, he’d taken to watching Gina’s interviews on YouTube. It made his heart hurt to see her, but he needed his fix.
After finding a new talk show clip, he started the video. Gina’s smiling face appeared on the screen. Longing bloomed in his chest, leaving a bittersweet ache.
“Gina, tell us about your choreography style,” the host in the video asked.
Stone listened with half an ear while Gina replied, her voice washing over him in a soothing wave.
Gina was incredibly talented, and a hard worker. She was going places. There was no room in her life for a guy with an engineering degree and a shitty reality show on his resume who wanted to live in Alaska, of all places. His ex-girlfriend, who’d been born and raised in Juneau, hadn’t even wanted to stick around. Why would Gina? There was nothing for her here.
Except him. And he wasn’t enough. The whole time, she’d wanted their relationship kept secret. Maybe it was because she knew he would never fit into the life she wanted.
“And how did you get started?” the host continued. “Tell us about your journey as a dancer.”
When they’d first met, Stone had thought the same of her, that she would never fit in here, in his life. But it turned out the opposite was true. He could never reach the heights she aspired to attain. She had values that ruled her decisions, and as she’d pointed out, he’d sold his integrity to reduce his family’s debt and fulfill his duty as the silent protector. Here he was, back in the fold, yet he’d never felt more alone. A Gina-shaped space had been carved into his life, and it was empty.
Stone had hoped the hole would be filled by all the things he’d missed about Alaska—the quiet, the fresh air, the peace and simplicity. Except it was all a lie. There was nothing simple about his life here. Everything his family did on camera was scripted. The whole time he was in LA, he’d longed to return to something that was a fantasy all along, the idea of a quiet, peaceful existence in the wilderness. He didn’t even truly live in the bush, and there was nothing quiet or peaceful about being on a TV show and living in a hotel.
