Page 5 of A Lot Like Adiós
She still didn’t know what had possessed her to ask the question. Maybe something on the TV had sparked the memory. Or maybe it had been on her mind ever since Lizzie DeStefano, Ava’s school friend, had put it there a few days earlier. Either way, Michelle had been feeling giddy, from marijuana and the prospect of the whole summer stretched out before them, when she’d turned to Gabe...
And asked if he had a big dick.
It made her cringe with embarrassment to think about it now. What a totally inappropriate thing to ask one’s best friend! But at the time, she’d felt like a little flirting between friends was okay, especially friends whose eyes sometimes lingered on each other’s body longer than they should. It didn’t have to mean anything, right?
Hey Gabe, I got a question for ya.
Yeah?
You got a big dick?
Do I—what?
Lizzie DeStefano, Ava’s friend from St. Catherine’s, said she thinks you’ve got a big dick.
I barely know Lizzie!
Well, do you?
... Do I what?
Do you have a big dick?
Gabe had evaded the question, but Michelle hadn’t missed the way his gaze had been glued to her boobs. He’d been so adorable, and playful banter was part of their dynamic, so she—and this was totally on her—had gone and sat next to him on the bed...
And asked if he washard.
You do, don’t you? Oh my god. Are you hard right now?
Looking back, Michelle wanted to shake herself. At the time, she’d thought she was being so edgy and cool. Talking about penises, without a care in the world! Like a real grown-up! But before she could laugh it off or apologize, Gabe had answered her in a voice gone low and deep.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was hard. For her? The thought had given her a thrill.
Michelle could never remember who moved first, but in the next second, they were kissing, and it was the most amazing and stunning thing she’d ever experienced. She’d kissed a couple of other boys before, but this wasGabe—herGabe—and his mouth was like heaven. Soft lips and frantic kisses that tasted like the wintermint gum they always chewed post-joint.
As Gabe’s hands roamed her body, Michelle had straddled his lap and reached into his sweatpants to find out firsthand just how hard he was.
And it turned out Lizzie DeStefano was right. Hewasbig.
From there they’d been caught in a cyclone of teenage lust. Michelle’s shirt and bra were lost to the whirlwind, and thenGabe’s mouth was on her, driving her wild with need. And just as she’d started to rearrange everything in her mind—like moving Gabe from the category ofbest friendtopotential first lover—she’d spotted the piece of paper sticking out of his sweatpants pocket.
Michelle often wondered what would’ve happened if she hadn’t seen the paper at that exact moment. If she’d been too far gone to be curious, or if she just hadn’t noticed it. Would they have had sex?
Would he have stayed?
She’d never know. Because shehadfound the paper then, and it had been a one-way plane ticket to Los Angeles for the following week.
All the excitement at discovering this new aspect to their relationship had drained away as the truth he’d come over to tell her spilled out. Gabe wasn’t staying in New York for college, as she’d thought. Instead, he’d gotten a scholarship to UCLA, and he was leavingsoon.
To make matters worse, he’dliedto her about it. Formonths. He’d told her he was going to Hunter College in Manhattan. That he would be here, right next door, when she drove down from SUNY Binghamton on holidays and the occasional weekend.
They were supposed to spend the whole summer together. They’d hadplans, damn it.
Anger had won out over tears. Michelle said some things she wasn’t proud of.
You said college wasn’t going to be goodbye, Gabe. Well, this sure feels a hell of a lot like goodbye.
